Bright Sparks

Bo'sun Higgs fetched the matches. The Cap'n struck a match and they all saw one another clearly for the first time.

You're an 'andsome young lad, said the Cap'n to Arthur. Ever been a ship's boy?

No, said Arthur. We'll just read the envelope and be on our way.

Nay, boy, stay for a natter, said the Cap'n.

Aye, stay, said the Bo'sun. We likes a bit o' company now an' again.

He grinned at Arthur.

Let's stay, said Ouvert. We like talking.

Oh yes, said Arthur, we couldn't help overhearing......

Overhearing? said the Cap'n sharply. Pirates ain't fond of folks overhearin'. What did ye hear?

You were discussing the missing particle, said Arthur, the famous Higgs boson. They found it, you said.

Aye! said the Cap'n. They found it alright. It were missin'.

Ouvert looked at Bo'sun Higgs, who appeared to like being referred to.

Arthur ploughed on.

I read something the other day, he began. I'd like to know what you think about it.

What is it? asked the Cap'n.

I didn't really get it, said Arthur.

Go on boy, said Bo'sun Higgs. We ain't the brightest sparks ourselves.

Well, said Arthur. It was about the nature of mass. The idea is that everything that doesn't have mass must be travelling at the speed of light.

There's an illuminating thought, said the Cap'n. He looked thoughtful, if not illuminated. The match had gone out.

Thoughts and ideas, said Ouvert. Mine do go quite fast.

Everyone thought about their own thoughts and ideas.

No, it's silly, said Arthur. But it seemed to make sense at the time.

Don't be embarrassed lad, said the Cap'n. We're all amateurs here. Now let's 'ave a squizz at this letter. Strike another match, Bo'sun Higgs!

Light flared across the face of the damp unfolded envelope. They saw stamps. And the letters 'GPS'