Stage Sixteen has four steep mountain climbs. And the luck is certainly off. Frank Schleck is on his way home. Cadel Evans has a stomach upset. Gaius has the runs. He blames it on the duck.
Team Philosophe is riding as a tight unit once again, thanks to Belle et Bonne's picnic intervention. Ouvert is now esconced safely in her pocket.
Team Philosophe is half way up the Col du Tourmalet.
Sweezus: What's up Gaius?
Gaius: The runs. I blame it on the duck.
Sweezus: You might as well blame it on the chicken in a pot, or the foie gras, or ......
Gaius: Ugggh! Don't remind me.
Arthur: Or the custard!
Gaius: Shut up! Anyway I didn't have any custard.
Arthur: Yes you did. You had more than me.
Sweezus: This Col du Tourmalet is a killer. Has anyone got a Power Bar?
Gaius: Eeeeuuuwugh! Ugh! Acchh!
Arthur: Gaius, hadn't you better drop off?
Gaius (valiantly) : No. I'll see it through to the end.
They ride up the hill in silence, except for puffing, and occasional exhalations of gas.
They reach the summit, and begin coasting down the other side of the Col du Tourmalet.
Sweezus: I like this part.
Arthur: Me too. It's dangerous.
Sweezus: Yeah. Good on you Arthur. You've grown up a lot in the last few days.
Arthur: What do you mean?
Sweezus: You've stopped spouting poetry. And you changed your attitude to Ouvert. In a good way.
Arthur: Thanks Sweezo. So have you.
Sweezus: That's a joke, right?
Gaius: Ahem!
Arthur: A joke, yes. Hey, look down there! Is that Thomas Voeckler? He's miles in front.
Sweezus: Don't worry. There's two more mountains to go. He'll conk out. It's not like he's got Ouvert in his pocket.
Arthur: Yeah. It's not like he's got Ouvert in his pocket.
Gaius: Lucky Belle et Bonne can't hear you two talk.
Sweezus: Yes, lucky her......ooooah! Yikes! Sheez!
He clips a railing and crashes to the ground.
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