Outright Outrageous

May I say something? asks Ageless's left buttock.

Spit it out, says Vello.

That's no way to address my beloved, says Ageless.

Speak, buttock, says Vello.

I'm speaking as myself, not Ageless's left buttock, says Kobo.

Then it can wait, says Vello.

I'll be brief, says Kobo.

Ha ha, laughs Vello. Brief!

Don't you think, says Kobo, that these days, that line suggests victim abuse?

Which one? asks Vello. Spit it out? Speak buttock? Or Brief?

People don't always die of ravishment, and disembowelling, says Kobo. These are NOT merely mishaps.

That's the POINT!, says Vello. It's a satirical comedy.

I don't find it funny, says Kobo.

Let me intervene, says Kierkegaard. I too was shocked, until I saw the funny side.

The funny side! says Kobo.

Perhaps you don't see the funny side, beloved, says Ageless, because you identify too much with your role as a buttock. 

So! You think your missing right buttock is the funny side? says Kobo. And I am the side with no sense of humour?

I assure you I don't think anything of that nature, says Ageless.

What IS a buttock? asks Terence.

A daddy cow, says Baby Pierre.

This is patently wrong, and even Terence doesn't believe it.

It's half a bottom, says Belle. The Old Woman had half her bottom cut off so that soldiers could eat it.

Yuck! says Terence.

A long time ago, says Belle. When she was younger.

What do you think Belle? asks Kobo. Are you upset by speaking those lines? Do you find ravishment and disembowelling funny?

If I know papa, says Belle, he included disembowelling to make it seem really outrageous. Of course no one can survive disembowelling. That's why it's funny. Cunégonde only has a wound in her left thigh. 

I still feel uncomfortable, says Kobo. What about the ravishment?

You may withdraw if you wish, says Vello. Baby Pierre can play the Old Woman's left buttock.

No WAY, says Baby Pierre.

No way, agrees Ageless.

Some things are not only outrageous, but outright disgusting.