I'm The Horses

 Final scene! says Vello. Ageless, come forward.

Ageless shuffles up, with Kobo, as his left buttock.

Wait, says Belle. She's shifted to the middle.

Let her stay in the middle, says Ageless. It's more comfortable. And it's just a rehearsal.

Fine, says Vello. Begin.

Wait! says Terence. Can I sing a song at the end?

After the coconuts? asks Vello.

With the coconuts, says Terence.

There's an idea, says David.

The coconuts have a function, says Vello. Do you know what it is?

No, says Terence.

When clapped together, they sound like horses galloping, says Vello. 

Ha ha! laughs Baby Pierre. Terence didn't know!

I did know, says Terence.

(He didn't).

I'll be the one who claps them together, says Terence.

How will the audience know if you're horses or an Earthquake? asks Sweezus.

By my SONG! cries Terence.

We'll see, says Vello. Is your song ready?

Not yet, says Terence. I have to add in the horses.

I KNEW it! says Baby Pierre.

Shut up! I'm doing it, says Terence.

Quiet! says Vello. Cue, Cunégonde.

Here's a scrape! says Belle. We'll be excommunicated for certain! My dear Candide has killed a Jew and a priest in under two minutes!

A jealous man doesn't know what he's doing, says Sweezus.

Wait! says Baby Pierre. Where's the other dead body?

It's me, says Terence. But now I'm the horses and the earthquake. You can be the dead body

Baby Pierre is triumphant. He lies down next to Don Issachar.

Continue! says Vello.

What shall we do? cries Belle.

There are three thoroughbred horses in the stable, says Ageless. Candide must get them ready. You, madam, should gather up your diamonds. We'll ride through the night to Cadiz!

Ooh-no! cries Kobo. 

Ha ha, laughs Vello. Nice touch!

Can I start singing? asks Terence.

Not till they've left the stage, says Vello. Remember, the coconuts are their horses.

Candide leaves the stage, followed by Cunégonde and the Old Woman, and Kobo who is pinker than usual, not that you could tell, under the royal blue ribbon.

Give me the coconuts! cries Terence.

Just then Arthur returns with a six-pack of pale ale and two packets of fruit buns.