Vertical Crack!

Next morning, in the Velosophy office.

Vello stands on a table.

Shake the table, says Vello.

David lifts up one end.

Vello wobbles.

Not too much! says Vello. Where is Arthur?

Not here yet, says Belle. Shall I take his part?

Yes, says Vello. Strike me excitedly.

Belle gets up on the table and strikes Vello from behind.

He tumbles off the table.

Are you all right? asks Belle.

I'm supposed to be flat out on the poop deck, says Vello. Not in the sea.

I know, says Belle. I'm sure Arthur will be better at it.

Enter Gaius and Kierkegaard in their black cloaks, followed by Terence in his badly tacked socks, and Baby Pierre, who is not wearing his costume, because it was a failure.

Greetings, says Gaius. I see you're already hard at it.

Yes, says David. We're having to do without Arthur. He and Sweezus are late.

Where's our Narrator? asks Vello.

Coming up the stairs, says Gaius. You know how difficult it is for a lobster.

David goes out to help Captain Baudin up the stairs.

What's happened to Terence's socks? asks Belle. Why are they gaping?

Gaius cut the heels off, says Terence.

An unfortunate failure, says Gaius. 

Never mind, says Belle. I'll fix them. What terrible tacking! And what have you done with the heels?

Here, says Gaius. I tried to fashion these small socks for Baby Pierre, but he doesn't like them.

Tube socks! says Baby Pierre. 

I see, says Belle. I'll see what I can do to make them more sock-like.

They need heels, says Baby Pierre.

No they don't! says Terence. Mine don't have heels now. And you're my stand-in.

He can't be your stand-in! cries Vello. He's a pebble!

He knows all the songs, says Terence. And he made up a new one: 

Vertical crack! Vertical crack! Don't call me dip-slip! I'm a vertical crack! sings Terence.

I say, says David, coming in with Captain Baudin. That's rather jolly!

Bonjour tout le monde! says Captain Baudin. Sorry to be late. Shall we get started?

The sooner the better, says Vello. Do you plan to talk over the Storm and Earthquake or would you like silence?

Silence, says Captain Baudin.

Everyone is silent except for the sound of  Belle's needle pushing through Terence's socks, and David, looking in the cupboard for biscuits, and Vello, rubbing his vertical crack, which may have been injured when he fell off the table. Let's hope not.