The Sad Dinner

Scene change, says Vello. Where's the Narrator?

Here, says Captain Baudin. What is the scene change?

It's the next day, says Vello. Our heroes have been creeping around in the ruins. They have helped various people, and are now sitting down to a dinner.

A dinner? says Captain Baudin. Where does that come from?

Some citizens of Lisbon have scraped it together, says Vello. It's a sad sort of dinner.

Very well, says Captain Baudin. 

Are we at this dinner? asks Kierkegaard.

What? says Gaius. Where are we up to?

The sad dinner, says Kierkegaard. 

Then, yes, says Gaius. My apologies. I was checking the latest news regarding travel to New Zealand. 

Have they opened the borders? asks David.

It seems they did, but now Auckland is in lockdown, says Gaius. Lucky I didn't go.

Very lucky, says Vello. Because you are in this scene. 

Excellent, says Gaius. Where are we sitting?

Next to Pangloss, says Vello. 

Of course, says Gaius. The disputation.

Where am I? asks Terence.

And me? asks Baby Pierre.

Your parts are finished, says Belle, but you could be two extras, at the sad dinner.

Yes, says Vello. Wonderful idea. Two extras at the sad dinner. 

Yeah, says Sweezus. We need extras. Otherwise it looks like it's just us having dinner.

With two members of the Inquisition, says Arthur.

All right, all right, says Vello. Everyone ready?

Everyone sits on the floor, around the upturned table, looking sad.

Wah! says Terence.

Don't overdo it, says Vello. Cue, David.

Things could not be otherwise, says David/Doctor Pangloss. Because everything that happens is for the best.

No one says anything.

Cue Gaius! says Vello.

Sorry, says Gaius. Ahem! It appears, sir, that you do not believe in the fall of man and eternal punishment.

I beg your pardon, says Doctor Pangloss, but the fall of man and eternal punishment are a necessary part of the best of all possible words.

So you don't believe in Free Will? says Gaius.

Free Will is consistent with Absolute Necessity, says Pangloss. For it was ordained that we should be free. And the Will is Determined....

Gaius nods to Kierkegaard, who has been following the argument with interest.

Yes? says Kierkegaard. It's a fair point, don't you think.

No. Arrest him, says Gaius. And him too.

Me? asks Sweezus.

You, says Gaius. 

What did he do? asks Terence.

He wasn't doing it, says Vello. He was supposed to be be looking at Pangloss with an air of approval.

So who's winning? asks Terence.