Ténénan Was So Handsome

Terence enters the cottage, with the handful of papers.

They gave me these, says Terence. And the instructions.

Thank you, Terence, says Gaius, taking the papers. Ah! They appear to be printed already.

You put them in the printer upside down, says Terence. Then your stuff gets printed on the other side. And then you write it.

Right it, Gaius. I see. And the saints don't mind us using it?

No, says Terence. They've put paper on their shopping list.

They obviously don't print things very often, says Mathilde. Otherwise they wouldn't leave their printer up here.

No doubt that is so, says Gaius. I wonder what it was they were printing.

So do I, says Mathilde. Would it be wrong of us to read it?

There are two ways of looking at the question, says Gaius.

Yes, says Terence. Front and back. 

I vote we read it, says Roo-kai. It will be on the back of my passport.

Of course, says Gaius. We don't want to arouse suspicion. Let us each take a paper, and read it, and then choose the one least offensive.

I can't read, says Terence.

I'll read one, says Bertille. Mum can read one and Gaius can read the other.

What about me? says Roo-kai.

You'll make the final decision, says Gaius. 

No, I will, says Terence. Roo-kai can help me.

Okay, says Roo-kai.

Mathilde starts reading:

Ténénan of Tinedor was so handsome that the Countess of Arondel's daughter wanted to marry him. He prayed to god to make him so ugly that no one would want him.

I'm not having that on the back of my passport, says Roo-kai.

I decide, says Terence. I want to find out what happens.

I don't, says Roo-kai. The whole idea is appalling.

Let me finish the story, says Mathilde. Ténénan promised that if his prayer was answered he would live in perpetual chastity.

What's chastity? asks Terence.

Keeping himself to himself, says Mathilde.

Not even himself, says Gaius. Self abuse can be....

Never mind, says Mathilde. We won't go there. God granted Ténénan's prayer and gave him leprosy. Good heavens!

What's leprosy? asks Terence.

A nasty disease, says Mathilde. If not treated your fingers and toes could fall off.

Maybe I've got it, says Terence.

You haven't, says Gaius. You are made of cement. Your fingers and toes are replaceable.

Irrelevant, says Roo-kai. No one comes out of this story with any merit. 

What's merit? asks Terence.

Desert, says Gaius.

Desert? Terence wonders how this could be so.