Being Or Eating Gold Toes

Terence is sorry for Rusty, who feels exponential, whatever that means.

How exponential? asks Terence.

Like Hideo, says Rusty. What he said. 

Did I say exponential? says Hideo. I don't think so.

No job, says Rusty. Like me.

You never had a job, says Terence.

I said existential, says Hideo. What is my purpose in life? I find myself wondering.

You've got two, says Terence. Maybe three.

What are they? asks Hideo. I'd be interested in your opinion.

One, says Terence. Being an otter.

True, says Hideo. 

Two, says Terence. Not being an otter.

As now, says Hideo. But those are not jobs as such. I liked being a Japanese teacher. Are you suggesting that as my third option?

No, says Terence. Three. Eating gold toes.

I NEVER ate them, says Hideo. I juggled them in my mouth, before spitting them into the water.

And the other otters copied, says Terence.

Mm, says Hideo, remembering the good times.

And everyone was watching, says Terence. That was a job.

You have perked me up, says Hideo. Come, Rusty. We have discovered a calling.

Are my toes in it? asks Rusty.

A small sacrifice surely, says Hideo. They are only glued on, as you know.

Rusty looks undecided.

Terence remembers the paper. 

Back in a minute! says Terence. 

He runs down the stone steps.

Guess what! The printer's run out of paper!

Tut! says Saint Arnoc. Another thing for the shopping list.

But Gaius needs it NOW! says Terence.

We have some paper that's only printed on one side, says Saint Ténénan.

What's the use of that? asks Terence.

You can put it in the printer the other way up and re-use it, says Saint Ténénan.

But the passport will be upside down, says Terence.

Not necessarily, says Saint Ténénan. Once it's in your hand, you can right it.

Write it? says Terence.

Turn it, says Saint Arnoc, handing Terence a few A4 papers, blank on one side.

Terence turns them over.

Yes, there are words on that side.

Too bad. He has done his best. 

He runs back up the steps to show Gaius, so focused on all the instructions he does not notice Hideo and Rusty have gone.