Bazza And Dazza

Quiet town, says Wittgenstein.

Something'll be open, says Arthur.

They drive through slowly, past the rotunda and steam train.

 Hotel, says Wittgenstein. Pity we're driving.

We're not both driving, says Arthur.

He pulls up and goes into the bottle shop, coming out with a six pack.

Here, says Arthur. Have a drink. And some Pringles.

Wait, says Wittgenstein. What will you have?

Same as you, says Arthur. Don't worry, I won't lose my license.

Sorry, says Wittgenstein. You're not drinking and driving.

Okay, says Arthur. We'll just wait here a while.

They open the cans, and the Pringles.

And so it is that they are still outside the pub when the campervan pulls in behind them.

Sweezus gets out.

You guys! says Sweezus. Drinking and driving.

Do we look like we're driving? says Arthur.

No, says Sweezus. And you're not going to. I'll drive the Mazda. Gaius'll have to drive the camper. 

You and me, says Wittgenstein.

Me and Arthur, says Sweezus.

But I hired this car, says Wittgenstein. I'm responsible...

Don't worry, says Sweezus. And you'll like being in the camper. Terence is heaps entertaining.

So it is decided. Sweezus goes into the pub for two bottles of water.

Then he and Arthur set off towards Yunta.

Cool car, says Sweezus. 

He puts his foot down. 

I didn't tell him I don't have a licence, says Arthur.

Yeah, good one, says Sweezus.

Wittgenstein climbs into the camper.

Are you driving? asks Gaius.

No, you are, says Wittgenstein.

This puts me in bit of a spot, says Gaius.

Don't you have a licence? asks Wittgenstein.

Hum, let me see, says Gaius. I don't usually.....

He pulls out his wallet.

Ah yes, It might be a bit out of date, though.

Never mind, says Wittgenstein. It's only till Yunta. 

No, says Gaius. I won't risk driving without a current license.

So we're stuck here in what's-this-place, says Wittgenstein. Until I blow sober.

Drat, says Gaius.

Maybe I can help, says Roo-kai.

You are a bird, says Wittgenstein.

A parrot, says Terence. He can do anything.

Thank you, says Roo-kai. 

Except drive a vehicle, says Gaius.

Fear not, says Roo-kai. Just give me a moment.

He hops out of the camper, and into the pub.

Anyone willing to drive us to Yunta? asks Roo-kai. We have our own van.

A few punters perk up on their bar stools.

Maybe Dazza, says one. 

Has he got a license? asks Roo-kai.

Yeah I have, says Dazza. when're you leavin'?

Now, says Roo-kai. Wait, have you been drinking?

No way, says Dazza. This is mineral water. How'll I get back?

I'll come 'n get ya, says another punter. Just text me.

Thanks Bazza, says Dazza.

Thanks Bazza and Dazza says Roo-kai.

No worries. We look after each other in the country, says Bazza.

See ya, says Dazza. Don't put too many away, Bazza.

As if, says Bazza, winking unreliably.

Roo-kai is not sure about Bazza.

But there have to be limits, and he has decided to set his at Dazza.