Jamaican Surprise

The Frenchman approaches their table.

Arthur sucks his Mars Bar milkshake noisily, through a red straw.

It is many years, says the Frenchman, directly to Arthur.

It is, says Arthur. Is that a wrapped fish?

Do not fear, says the Frenchman. I have only this one.

Arthur shrugs. 

He did not want a dead fish fight.

Hey, says Sweezus. 

Hey, says Terence.

Won't you join us? says Gaius. The milk shakes are supposedly traditional.

Not the Fruit Tingle, says Wittgenstein.

The Frenchman sits down.

He looks at the shakes menu, and considers.

Mais oui, he will try a Hawaiian Delight. Mais... non... a Jamaican Surprise.

But first, a question.

Have any of you seen a parrot?

Yes! says Terence. I've seen a parrot.

Bien! says the Frenchman. And may I ask where you have seen the parrot?

Yes, says Terence.

Where? asks the Frenchman.

Over there, says Terence, pointing at Roo-kai, near the door.

That is no parrot, says the Frenchman. You think to tease me?

No, says Gaius. The oystercatcher is Terence's parrot, Roo-kai.

Merveilleux! cries the Frenchman. Roo-kai! I have found him! Call him here. I have something to give him.

Roo-kai! calls Terence.

Roo-kai hops over.

What is it? asks Roo-kai.

I am Paul Verlaine, says the Frenchman. I am here on behalf of the president of France.

Really? says Arthur.

Oui, says Verlaine. I have given up the poetry, and the dissolute life style and now work for the French government. 

I'm not going back, says Roo-kai.

You are not required to, says Verlaine. Au contraire, I'm here to present you with a medal. 

He draws a small box from his pocket. 

Opens the box.

Inside lies a bronze medal on a red white and blue ribbon.

You are hereby elected to the order of Chevalier des Clandestines, says Verlaine. 

Roo-kai looks at his medal. 

Is that a parrot? asks Roo-kai.

We thought you were a parrot, says Verlaine. 

And I'm now a Chevalier? says Roo-kai.

Oui, says Verlaine. 

He lifts the medal from the box, and places the ribbon round the neck of Roo-kai.

Congratulations, says Verlaine.

I am honoured, says Roo-kai.

Now I'll try that Jamaican Surprise, says Verlaine.