Inadequate Country Wisdom

This is Dazza, says Roo-kai. He's going to drive us to Yunta.

Wonderful, says Gaius.  Does he have a license?

Course I've got a licence, says Dazza. 

And you haven't been drinking? asks Gaius.

No, says Dazza. Nice camper.

It belongs to a friend of a friend, says Gaius.

A girl, I reckon, says Dazza. Judging by the flowers.

The friend of the friend is, says Gaius. The friend isn't.

Was it one of the guys in the Mazda Miata? asks Dazza.

Yes, says Gaius. One of them. They are our colleaugues. The Mazda Miata is a hired car.

How come? asks Dazza. 

Ludwig wanted to hire a two seater, says Gaius. 

I'm Ludwig, says Wittgenstein. Can we get going?

Dazza gets in, turns the key, revs the engine, and gets going.

He does not drive quickly.

Can we trouble you to drive faster? asks Wittgenstein.  

We'll get there when we get there, says Dazza.

That's good, says Terence.

Dazza looks at Terence in the rear view mirror.

Yeah, says Dazza. That's what I reckon. It is what it is.

Is that some of your country wisdom? asks Wittgenstein.

Is everything what it is? asks Terence.

Yep, says Dazza. Always.

Hah! says Terence. What am I?

A kid, says Dazza. 

Right, says Terence. What's my parrot?

There is no parrot, says Dazza. Only an oystercatcher. You can't trick me.

That's enough, says Gaius. How will you get back from Yunta?

Bazza, says Dazza. He'll come and get me. But I might hang about a bit in Yunta.

Is it a big town? asks Wittgenstein. 

Used to be bigger, says Dazza. The gold rush, the railways....

He IS a parrot, says Terence. Ask him if he's a parrot.

Dazza, looks pained.

He thinks he knows a parrot.

Are you a parrot? asks Dazza.

Currently, yes, says Roo-kai.

What does that mean? asks Dazza. 

Your country wisdom is inadequate, says Wittgenstein. 

Dazza decides to change the subject.

Where are you guys headed, after Yunta?

Broken Hill, says Gaius. Then Taree.

You goin' over the border? asks Dazza. Got your papers?

Papers, what papers? asks Gaius.

Vaccination certificates and permissions, says Dazza. Negative test results. All that stuff.

Curses, says Gaius. Will you drive faster? I need to catch up to Arthur.

Is he stopping in Yunta? asks Dazza.

I don't know, says Gaius. And I don't have my phone, so I can't call him.

Dazza looks across at Wittgenstein.

I don't know his number, says Wittgenstein.

Jeeez! says Dazza.