Understanding The Present

We must be off, says Gaius. Thanks again, Dazza.

No worries, says Dazza. Good luck at the border.

Thank you, says Gaius. 

And have a good Christmas, says Dazza.

Hum, says Gaius. You too.

Gaius, Wittgenstein, Terence and Roo-kai exit the pub and climb into the camper.

Wittgenstein will be driving.

Now, says Gaius. Before you start, Ludwig, would you mind calling Sweezus again?

Wittgenstein calls Sweezus's number.

Yeah, what's up? says Sweezus.

Gaius wants a word, says Wittgenstein.

He hands Gaius the phone.

Is Arthur there? asks Gaius.

He's at the supermarket, says Sweezus. 

Never mind, says Gaius. What was it like at the border?

Sweet, says Sweezus. We didn't even have to make a declaration. 

That is good news, says Gaius. We're just leaving Yunta. We'll be at Broken hill in just over two hours.

Can I talk to him? asks Terence.

Terence wants a word, says Gaius.

Cool, says Sweezus. Put him on.

Guess what? says Terence. It's Christmas. And I get a present.

Who told you that? asks Sweezus.

Dazza, says Terence. 

A present, says Sweezus. 

He didn't say a present, says Terence. 

It's a week away, says Sweezus. 

Don't forget, says Terence.

Sure, little buddy, says Sweezus. See ya.

Yay! says Terence, as Gaius takes back the phone, and returns it to Wittgenstein's pocket. I get a present.

From Sweezus? says Gaius.

YES! says Terence. I asked him.

You didn't ask him, says Wittgenstein. You said I get a present. Consider what that means.

No need for that sort of conundrum, says Gaius. 

What does it mean? asks Terence.

The present could be coming from anywhere, says Wittgenstein. Someone else may have bought it.

That would be good, says Terence. 

Not if they haven't, says Wittgenstein. And Sweezus assumes that they have.

Wah! cries Terence. Then I don't get one!

Exactly, says Wittgenstein. You must think about what you're saying

Not necessarily, says Gaius. 

Yes, necessarily, says Wittgenstein.

I mean that he won't necessarily not get one, says Gaius.

Do I get one or don't I? asks Terence.

Don't worry, you will get one, says Roo-kai.

(Everyone should have such a parrot).