Now Terence, says Gaius, I'll start cooking the carrots. Can I trust you to set the table?
Yes, says Terence.
First the table cloth, says Gaius. Spread it out and check where the holes are.
Terence spreads the table cloth out on the floor.
Not on the floor, says Gaius. On the table.
Okay, says Terence.
He bunches up the table cloth, which is yellow.
Gaius pours olive oil into a pan.
Terence drags the tablecloth to the table.
To spread it, he will need to stand on a chair.
He climbs on a chair, but now can't reach the table cloth, which is still on the floor.
He looks down at the table cloth.
It seems to be smiling.
Gaius starts frying the chopped carrots with mint leaves and cumin.
A fine aroma fills the kitchen.
What's that smell? asks Terence. Underarms?
It's an ancient Roman recipe for cooking carrots, says Gaius. My guests will enjoy it.
Can you lift up this dumb old tablecloth? asks Terence.
Wait a tick, says Gaius. I mustn't scorch the carrots.
Terence waits for Gaius to not scorch the carrots.
He looks down. The tablecloth has changed its expression.
It looks angry.
Wait, says Terence. In a minute I'll stop up your holes.
The table cloth holes, if they had eyebrows, would raise them.
A presumptuous child!
Gaius adds water, sea salt, black pepper and vinegar to the frying pan.
He turns down the heat to a simmer.
Now to help Terence.
They spread the table cloth on the table together.
There! Three holes! says Gaius. Just where I hoped they would be. It is fortunate they aren't exactly adjacent to where anyone will be sitting.
Yes, says Terence. Lucky. Can you get the sad faces?
What a pity Roo-kai is down at the coast finding molluscs, says Gaius. He could do this.
Get them, says Terence. I'll do the rest.
Very well, says Gaius.
He brings the sad (but excited) carrot faces across to the table. A dozen.
He then goes back to keep an eye on his carrots, which must stew for at least thirty minutes.
Terence is left with a puzzle.
Twelve faces and only three holes........
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