Pretend To Kick

Gaius returns, without fish glue.

What if my toe falls off? asks Terence.

We'll re-attach it later, says Gaius. Just remember to pick it up, if it does.

Vello looks at Hedley's mother.

Isn't that risky? asks Hedley's mother.

What do you suggest? asks Vello/

A plaster, says Hedley's mother. 

Do you have one? asks Vello.

I had one, says Hedley's mother. But I used it, on Hedley's toe.

He can share it, says Hedley, picking at the edge of his plaster.

No, he can't, says Hedley's mother. Terence will just have to be careful.

I'm always careful, says Terence. 

Sweezus comes out of the water, dumps his surf board and shakes the drops from his hair.

Where's everyone? asks Sweezus.

Good question, says Vello. We're supposed to be having a rehearsal. At least now we have you.

And me, says Gaius. I rehearsed my old man lines. Belle's gone off somewhere.

Can I help? asks Hedley's mother. What's the play? Do I know it?

Candide, says Vello. We're performing an excerpt.

Candide? says Hedley's mother. Not the one by Voltaire?

The very one, says Vello. 

I thought it was a novel, says Hedley's mother.

I've adapted it, says Vello. This year we're performing 'What They Saw In The Country Of Eldorado'.

Isn't that rather ambitious? asks Hedley's mother. 

Not at all, says Vello. We shall have minimal sets, and shorten the speeches. It's all in the acting.

Yes, says Gaius. I was hoping you might shorten the speeches.

But not mine and Hedley's! says Terence.

You don't have speeches, says Vello.

Oh surely they could say something, says Hedley's mother. This is Hedley's big chance.

Sheep don't say anything, says Vello.

Baa! says Terence.

Baa! Baa! says Hedley.

Blub-blub-blub.... says Terence. 

Why do we say that? asks Hedley.

I don't, you do, says Terence. You drown. I get rescued.

We're not going that far, says Vello. The scene ends with them being hoisted out of Eldorado by scientific machinery.

Yet to be built, says Gaius.

Yeah, says Sweezus. Must go to Bunnings!

But Hedley and Terence are also playing the children, says Hedley's mother. They could have some lines.

Very well, says Vello. We'll rehearse the part where Candide and Cacambo see the children kicking the gold nuggets and precious stones as though they were footballs.

Just pretend to kick, Hedley, says Hedley's mother. Remember your toe.

Hedley hesitates, thinking about how he will do it.

Terence runs at the megalodon tooth, shouting 'First one to... BUMHOLE, I KNEW IT!!'

It looks like his toe has come off.