Inventing the Bicycle

Professor Barnsley was silent for a moment. He appeared to be having a brainwave.

Everything stretches with time!  he declared.

Brilliant! said Belle et Bonne. You've invented a new maths axiom!

I was thinking of underwear, said the professor. I know mine does.

Oh I see, said Belle et Bonne.

You must get off the stage now, all of you, said the professor. I have to finish my talk.

He shooed them off the stage. The VeloDrone, Le Bon David and Belle et Bonne resumed their seats near the front.

Underwear! said The VeloDrone. Belle et Bonne, you have ruined my ploy.

Sorry papa, said Belle et Bonne. But your ploy wasn't working. He was just about to find out you hadn't been to Oxford.

It wouldn't have mattered, said The VeloDrone. He has ridden a bicycle. He has even fractalised one, or whatever the process is called.

Well I'm sure everything will be alright then, said Belle et Bonne. What do you think, Uncle David?

He says everything stretches with time? said Le Bon David slowly. I don't think he's right.

He was talking about underwear though, said Belle et Bonne. And I think he's right.

Mine seems to get tighter, said Le Bon David.

We're not talking about underwear, said The VeloDrone.

No, said Belle et Bonne We were talking about papa's ploy.

It wasn't working. said Le Bon David. That's why I came up.

You interrupted, said The VeloDrone. You changed the subject. I was buttering him up. Telling him how much I liked England.

When did you go to England? asked Le Bon David. Remind me.

As a young man, said The VeloDrone. I was exiled from Paris. I went  to London, and met Pope, Swift and Milton.

That long ago? said Le Bon David. So you INVENTED the bicycle?

They all started giggling.

Shhh! said a lady behind them.