Misled by Scallywags

Welcome boys and girls, says Michael Faraday. I am going to talk to you today about candles.

Did he say boys and girls? whispers Mrs Hume, looking around at the largely middle-aged audience.

Shush, Mother, says David. He's reproducing one of his famous Christmas lectures for young people.

I see, whispers Mrs Hume.  And yet you insist this is all quite real.

The room is real, hisses David. The furniture is real, the curtains are real, the candles are real. But the performance is an illusion.

So you were wrong, whispers Mrs Hume,

Ahem, says Michael Faraday.

Mrs Hume subsides.

Michael Faraday introduces several different types of candles, including the beautiful and delightfully scented beeswax candle. He explains how the wick works, and demonstrates capillary action in a piece of chalk, He talks about the hottest part of the flame, and demonstrates the pattern of scorch marks on a piece of paper, which he passes around the room.

The audience is entranced. Some of them have not previously understood the interesting and scientific nature of a candle. Others have understood these things, but are nonetheless impressed by Mr Faraday's clear and engaging style of lecturing.

He receives an enthusiastic round of applause.

After the lecture, Mrs Hume goes up to speak to him.

That was a wonderful lecture, Mr Faraday, says Mrs Hume. Or may I call you Ziggi?

You may, says Michael Faraday, although it has never been my name.

Your nickname, though? says Mrs Hume.

No, says Michael Faraday. Mike is generally .....

Then I have been misled by those two scallywags! says Mrs Hume. David! Mr Darwin! come over here!