A Naturalist Not a Warbler

David and his mother arrive at the theatre on time. They go inside and sit down in the second row. Mr Charles Darwin is already on stage sitting at his desk, chatting with members of the audience.

Oh hello! says Charles Darwin. Nice to see you.

Do we know Mr Darwin, David? asks Mrs Hume.

No, says David, sitting down. Not personally.

Hello, Mr Darwin, says Mrs Hume loudly. I'm sure you know my son, David Hume the famous philosopher.

Goodness me! says Charles Darwin. What an honour. David Hume! A famous philosopher indeed. And do I have the honour of addressing Mrs Hume?

In a manner of speaking, yes, says David. She is my mother.

Well, well, says Charles Darwin. Pleased to meet you both. I hope you will enjoy my humble show.

As long as it is not too far above our heads, says Mrs Hume. We are not scientific.

Mother! says David. I am scientific!

Do not fear, Mrs Hume, says Charles Darwin. It is in the form of a comedy, with many rollicking songs that I've written myself.

Songs! says Mrs Hume. I thought you were a naturalist, Mr Darwin. Not a warbler.

You will see, Mrs Hume, says Mr Darwin. Do please make yourself comfortable.

Thank you, Mr Darwin, says Mrs Hume. After that awful ride on a bumpy bus, a stationary seat will be most welcome.

The performance begins.

Mr Darwin tells the story of his early education and his interest in barnacles. He sings a Barnacle Song, accompanying himself on a guitar, while leaping about the stage with some agility.

David steals a look at his mother. She appears to be captivated.

Good.