The Trouble With Scientists

After the show, David and his mother meet Charles Darwin in the bar.

How did you enjoy the show, Mrs Hume? asks Darwin.

Oh immensely, Mr Darwin, says Mrs Hume. I did not know that you could sing. Nor did I expect you to be funny.

One must adapt to modern times, says Darwin. These days to get one's message across one must be snappy.

Surely you're not still trying to get your message across? says David. Everyone these days knows about the origin of species by means of natural selection.

You are a man of science, says Darwin. You know how we scientists are viewed these days.

I do indeed, sighs David. Because we admit that nothing can be known for certain, we are taken to mean that we do not know anything. At least no more than any other fool.

Alas, says Darwin. How are we to progress, other than by means of comedy?

How indeed? says David sympathetically. 

I did like your reenactment of your argument with Captain Fitzroy of the Beagle, Mr Darwin, says Mrs Hume, in an attempt to lighten the mood. The argument about the truth of the bible in the light of fossil evidence. Do pray perform it for us again.

No I couldn't, says Darwin modestly. Not here in the bar.

Oh go on, says Mrs Hume. It was hilarious.

Alright then, says Darwin. Just for you madam. Here I go:

It is....it isn't ....it is....it isn't....it is....it isn't....it IS...... no it ISN'T....yes it IS... no, it isn't....yes it is...no it isn't...... no it isn't .....it IS.... oops I seem to be using the wrong voice!...... no it isn't..... yes it is......

Ha ha ha! laughs Mrs Hume. I love that bit!