The Hat Guy

Margaret relays the bad news.

Terence has swapped Katherine's cheese knife for a Peruvian hat.

Never mind, says Katherine. I can always buy another one.

Hold your horses, says Victor. The cheese knife must be sighted, and documented. Otherwise my report will be inadmissible.

I can buy one right here, says Katherine. I saw some lovely cheese knives in the Cheese Shop.

You're missing the point, says Victor. It must be THE cheese knife.

Who will know? asks Katherine.

Yes, who will know? agrees Margaret. I say do it.

I will know, says Victor. And I'm the one signing off on it.

Then you have a dilemma, says Katherine. Terence where is the cheese knife?

In Penguin, says Terence. With the hat guy.

Now we're getting somewhere, says Victor. What did he look like, the hat guy?

He was wearing a hat, says Terence. This one.

That is not at all helpful, says Victor. Think about it. Do you know why?

No, says Terence. It IS helpful.

It isn't, says Margaret. Because the man isn't wearing it now.

Perhaps it has the man's name in it, says Katherine.

I must ask you to remove that hat, says Victor, and show me the inside lining.

Okay, says Terence.

He removes it.

Victor seizes the hat.

Looks at the lining.

There is a phone number, beside the name: Bernie.

Bernie, says Victor. His name is Bernie, and here's his phone number.

Ha ha! laughs Margaret. So Terence's joke was funnier than it seemed at the time.

Good, says Terence. I knew it was funny.

What was it? asks Katherine.

What do you call a cold person in a Peruvian hat? says Margaret.

I don't know, says Katherine.

Bernie, says Margaret. But of course, you had to know Bernie was his real name.

Then how would it be a riddle, Margaret? says Katherine. What do you think, Victor?

But Victor is already on the phone to the receiver of the stolen cheese knife.