You're A Neck Pain

Victor strides through The Wonders of Wynyard, looking for Margaret.

Terence spots him first, and comes running.

Have you got my hat?

No, says Victor. By which I mean, yes, I have a certain hat. And I'd like you to identify it.

Where is it? asks Terence.

Here, says Victor, taking it out of a paper envelope.

Yay! says Terence.

Not so fast, says Victor. Is this the hat that you swapped for Katherine's cheese knife?

Yes! says Terence. Now can I have it?

No, says Victor, returning the hat to the envelope. In due course, Katherine will be getting her cheese knife back and Bernie his hat.

What do I get? asks Terence.

YOU get out of being charged, because Katherine's been cooperative, and you're a minor, says Victor.

I'm telling Margaret, says Terence. That's not fair.

Where is Margaret? asks Victor. I have a message for her from Katherine.

In there, says Terence. She's learning to break her bad habits.

You don't say? says Victor. What bad habits?

All of them, says Terence.

Victor follows Terence.

Margret is sitting on a seat beside a paper sculpture of F M Alexander.

She is repeating a hammering movement, with her right hand.

Hello Margaret, says Victor.

He won't give back my hat, says Terence.

Hello Victor, says Margaret. I've just been talking to a gentleman about the Alexander Technique. I had no idea it could be so helpful.

So I've heard, says Victor. But I've never gone into it.

It's all about constructive conscious control of your movements, says Margaret. Getting rid of bad habits. See this? I've been sitting all wrong. And also I do this when I hammer, but I should make an effort to do it like this. See? Much better. And it helps reduce back pain.

You have back pain? asks Victor.

No, says Margaret. It also helps reduce neck pain, and increases confidence when speaking in public.

F M Alexander was a native of Wynyard, says Victor.

I know, says Margaret. Who would have guessed?

Perhaps I should try it, says Victor. I often have neck pain.

You're a neck pain, says Terence.

Sit down, says Margaret. Or perhaps you should squat.

Then what? asks Victor.

Lunge, says Margaret. There, that looked awkward! Of course I'm no expert.

How interesting, says Victor. Every time I lunge from now on I shall do it consciously.

So will I, says Margaret. Not that I lunge very often. But I'm sure you do.

By the way, Katherine's gone down to the Bloomin' Tulips Foreshore Market, says Victor. She'll be back in half an hour.

Let's get a coffee while we wait, says the new Alexander Technique-conscious Margaret.

That would be nice, says the new Victor.

They head off to the café.

Terence doesn't follow. He makes for the door.

The sounds of the Market drift across from the foreshore. Laughter, spruiking, loudspeaker announcements and..... the squawk of a parrot.

Jinjing!

Terence runs off without asking.