Science Before Safety

It's a well equipped camper.

Kierkegaard has found scissors and string.

A fine type of string, that will go round a jellybean without being too bulky.

Can I tie it? asks Terence.

No, says Kierkegaard. I'll do it.

Has anyone asked me if I'm willing to do this? asks the jellybean.

We should, in good conscience, says Gaius. There are obvious dangers.

List them, says the jellybean. In fact, write them down.

We don't have time to write them down, says Gaius. We'll do that later.

When it's too late, says the jellybean. We jellybeans always learn of dangers too late.

Yes, says Terence. Like talking.

That's not one, says Gaius.

Rain, says Terence.

Nor that, says Gaius.

Allow me, says Vello. List of dangers about to be faced by.... what name do you go by?

Bad News, says the jellybean.

By Bad News, continues Vello.

SCENARIO ONE:
You are out in the open, tied to a string at the other end of which is a man. The man is watching you from a bird hide. A bird is attracted by your shape. It lands nearby and hops closer. Pounce! It stabs you. The man must now decide on an action.

Pull me to safety, says the jellybean.

Depends on the man, says Vello. There are those among us who put science before safety.

Okay, says the jellybean. I'll have to factor that in. What's another scenario?

SCENARIO TWO: (says Vello).

Again you are out in the open, tied to a string. But at the other end of the string is Terence. A bird approaches, with parrot features. Terence allows the parrot to swallow you before pulling the string.

He doesn't like me, says the jellybean.

I do, says Terence. But I need a new parrot.

SCENARIO THREE: (continues Vello).

You are out in the open, tied to a string. At the other end of the string is no one. Terence has run out of the bird hide, and fallen into a muddy puddle. His unicorn pants have unrolled, All three men are engaged in his rescue.

That's unlikely, says Gaius. One of us would do. 

Even so, the attention of the other two would be diverted, says Vello. To continue: a bird approaches.

A parrot? asks Terence.

Not necessarily, says Vello. The jellybean tries to escape the bird on its own.

That's what I WOULD do, says the jellybean.

Let me finish, says Vello. Due to your jellybean shape the string is tied round your widest circumference. All your other circumferences are shorter. As you move, the string naturally loosens.

I'm free! cries the jelly bean.

And can no longer be pulled to safety, says Vello.

I do like Scenario Three, says the jellybean. It gives me autonomy. I'll do it.

I like it too, says Terence.

Your pants get wrecked, says the jellybean.

But I get a new parrot, says Terence.

Vello looks at Gaius. That was Scenario Two.

Gaius gives him a thumbs up.