The Wrong Gardener

Was it Candide? asks Paloma. In the Botanical Gardens? Last Fringe?

The Fringe before last, says Vello. Our outdoor production.

You played Doctor Pangloss, says Paloma.

I played Martin, says Vello. But Pangloss and I were dressed much the same.

Like gardeners, says Paloma. Yes! Costa was in it!

That was not the real Costa, says Vello. It was one of our actors.

He was good, says Paloma. Very funny. There was a scene in a sink hole.

Of necessity, says Vello. The garden collapsed.

By now they have arrived at the camper.

In you go, says Paloma.

Gaius is inside, with Terence, Lily, and Alexander-Red-Hook.

Lily is drawing emu-wrens, in a note book.

Gaius is warming his hands on a mug of hot coffee.

I hope you didn't go to the trouble of bringing me a coffee, says Gaius.

We did, says Vello. Here it is. From the Mount Compass café. Somewhat tepid.

I can warm it up, says Paloma. If anyone would like it.

No one would like it.

It sits on the table, going cold.

We were remembering our last production of Candide, says Vello. Paloma was at it.

Do you remember me? asks Gaius. I played the Old Lady.

You don't say? says Paloma. I was convinced you were a genuine old lady.

I wore a cushion on one buttock, says Gaius.

I was the Stink Bug! says Terence,

You were an excellent Stink Bug, says Paloma.

Were you really a Stink Bug? asks Lily. What was your costume?

Orange eyebrows, says Terence. And a Stink Button.

Well, says Kierkegaard. You all surprise me, having these hidden strings to your bows.

You don't act yourself? asks Paloma.

No, says Kierkegaard. The Tour Down Under, the crab experiments and bird watching are my first efforts at steering away from philosophy.

That's remarkable, says Paloma. And..... is that a banana, in your pocket?

Vello suppresses a laugh, at the comic potential.

Kierkegaard pulls out three bananas.

What a shame, says Paloma, they are past their best aren't they? We should put them outside for the bandicoots.

Wonderful idea, says Gaius. I take it you mean the southern brown bandicoot. Aren't they rare here?

Yes, says Paloma. They are rare here, but a few have been spotted.

Kierkegaard hands her the bananas, with a degree of regret.

He would have eaten one, he likes them soft and mushy, but now the bandicoots will have them.