Be More Like You

Bonjour messieurs, says the ticket inspector.

Bongiorno, inspectore, says Nicolo.

Tickets, please, says the ticket inspector.

I have two, says Nicolo. One for me, and one for ....

He stops, having been elbowed by Arthur.

...him, says Nicolo. I have them somewhere.

He feels in his pocket.

While he is waiting, the ticket inspector's eye is drawn to the seat behind them.

Putain! says the ticket inspector. Un grenouille sur the train! et un petit enfant Jésu!

That's our petit enfant Jésu, says Arthur. 

Et le grenouille? asks the ticket inspector.

A specimen, says Nicolo.

Scientific, says Arthur

It must be contained, says the ticket inspector.

Certainly, says Nicolo. Will you bring us a container?

That is not my job, says the ticket inspector. I shall continue inspecting tickets, and when I return, if your grenouille is not contained, it will be removed.

That's fair, says Nicolo.

The inspector moves on.

Arthur looks back at Sweetpea. 

It was good you kept quiet, says Arthur. 

I was scared, says Sweetpea. 

YOU were scared? says the Kroombit tinker. I have to go in a container.

No you don't, says Arthur. We'll move seats.

Can I move seats with you? asks Sweetpea.

No says Arthur. You stay with Nicolo. He's got your ticket.

I take it you don't have a ticket? says Nicolo.

I never buy a ticket, says Arthur. I just seat hop.

What if there are no empty seats? asks Nicolo.

There are always empty seats, says Arthur. People have to go to the toilet.

That's a brief window, says Nicolo. And what if they are travelling with someone who doesn't need to go to the toilet? And that someone objects to you sitting down beside them.

You think too much, says Arthur.

I suppose I do, says Nicolo. 

It rarely happens, says Arthur. But say it did. I'd ask them if they had a container.

For your frog, says Nicolo.

For my frog, says Arthur. And they'd have to start searching.

They may not like frogs, says Nicolo.

All the more reason for them to find a container, says Arthur.

I should be more like you, says Nicolo.

Go on then, says Arthur.

Is that a challenge? asks Nicolo. Va bene. I'm up for it.

So Nicolo gets out of his seat. Arthur moves into it.

Sweetpea sits beside Arthur, feeling less scared.

Nicolo picks up the Kroombit tinker and heads up the carriage to find someone whose travelling companion has gone to the toilet.