Death Comes to Us All

It's not you who will find yourself back behind bars, Gaius, said Victor. Unfortunately, Mr Sweezus, I must now arrest you for escaping from the back seat of a police car before being found to have no case to answer.

Hey! said Sweezus. How can that be a crime?

It's all in the timing, said Victor.

Fuck, said Sweezus.

Never mind, said Gaius. Perhaps I'll rescue you.

But Sweezus was annoyed. He walked to the steps and down onto the beach. He took off his shoes and shorts. He made a low running dive into the nearest wave and kept swimming.

Sweezie! Come back! cried Belle et Bonne. Victor was only joking!

Actually, said Victor. I wasn't. He shouldn't have run off like that.

He'll come back when he's ready, said Belle et Bonne. He always goes swimming when he feels under stress.

Look! said The VeloDrone. He's heading for the whales!

Christ Almighty! yelled Victor. He mustn't do that!

Whyever not? asked Le Bon David.

It's not allowed, said Victor. We humans have to keep a certain distance away.

Ha ha! laughed Gaius. Are you joking again?

No, said Victor. Now he's really in trouble.

Ridiculous, said Gaius. Let me tell you a true story.

Go on, said The VeloDrone, winking at David.

A killer whale had become stuck in Ostia Harbour, during the construction. The whale had been tempted by a cargo of hides from a shipwreck. It had eaten its fill over many days and had become wedged in a furrow, so that it couldn't turn round.

Oh dear! Did it die? asked Belle et Bonne.

Yes it did, said Gaius. The Emperor Claudius decided to put on a show. He stretched nets across the entrance to the harbour, and had soldiers throw spears at the whale from ships.

How dreadful! said Belle et Bonne.

It was, said Gaius. One of the ships sank due to filling up with water from the spout of the whale.

Err, what is the point of your story, Gaius? asked Victor.

The point? said Gaius. Death comes to us all.