Neuronal Assemblies

Next evening The VeloDrone and Le Bon David arrived at the Memorial Hall in the well-kept grounds of Saint Peter's College. It was raining. They hurried inside and sat down. The hall filled rapidly with parents and members of the public.

The Baroness Professor mounted the stairs to the stage. She was wearing a short fitted dress, black stockings and black platform high heels. Her long blonde hair was side-swept into a pony tail. Everyone applauded the Baroness Professor.

Good evening, said the Baroness Professor. I'm going to speak to you tonight about human consciousness. But first I must ask, are there any philosophers in the audience?

Sensing a trap, The VeloDrone and Le Bon David kept their hands by their sides.

Hah! said The Baroness Professor. Philosophers never like to declare themselves! And that is just as well. For I have no truck with philosophers. They must always have a definition of something before they will discuss it. This is of course ridiculous in the case of human consciousness, which cannot be defined, although everyone knows what it is!

Le Bon David was cross with himself. But there was nothing he could do now. The Velodrone was miffed as well. Put in their place by a woman! But it was their own fault. They should have declared themselves when given the opportunity. This woman was cleverer than her choice of platform shoes would indicate.

The Baroness Professor spoke about neuronal assemblies, and human brains, and octopus brains, and learning to play the piano without touching the keys.

After an hour she ended her talk and agreed to take questions from the audience.

Le Bon David stood up.

David Hume, he said. I have a question.

David Hume? said the Baroness Professor. I thought this audience was free of philosophers.

No, said Le Bon David. It is not free of philosophers. At my side is The VeloDrone also known as Voltaire.

Goodness! said The Baroness Professor. Well, what is your question?

My question,said Le Bon David, is somewhat personal in nature.

I don't take personal questions, said the Baroness. But as I am intrigued by you and your friend, perhaps you would like to see me afterwards to continue our discussion over a cup of tea and a slice of coconut cake.

Thank you, Baroness Professor, said Le Bon David, sitting down.