The Incompetent Policeman

Aren't you going after him? asked Gaius.

I don't think so, said Victor. I imagine he's innocent anyway.

You do, do you? said Gaius. And what about me?

You're probably guilty, said Victor. As the paper bag will no doubt prove.

It will prove just the opposite, said Gaius, hotly. Make sure you don't lose it.

I won't lose it, said Victor. I'm a policeman.

You're an incompetent policeman, said Gaius. First you let a suspect escape, then you say he was probably innocent. If I were to escape would you say the same about me? No doubt you would. No wonder I'm worried you'll lose the paper bag. Where is it, if you don't mind me asking?

It's here in my pocket, said Victor. At least it was. I'm sure it was. Now what can have happened to it?

You've lost it, said Gaius. I knew it. Next you'll say I'm free to go.

You are, said Victor. Now I've lost the evidence.

Nonsense, said Gaius. You still have to write a report. You are not just dealing with any old suspect you know. I am a citizen of ancient Rome. I know all about legalities.

Ancient Rome? said Victor, putting two and two together. Pliny? Don't tell me you are Gaius Plinius Secundus? Otherwise known as Pliny the Elder?

At last! said Gaius. A bit of recognition. Yes, I am he.

Well well, it's an honour Mr Pliny, said Victor. This explains the penguin pie very satisfactorily.

It does? said Gaius.

It does, said Victor. I assume you would have been used to eating such things in ancient Rome. My report will make that clear. You have no case to answer.

Thank you, said Pliny. Although your assumption is quite wrong. And now may I go?

You may, said Victor, unless.....would you like to stay on in Victor Harbor for a few days and come whale-watching with me?

I would, Victor, said Gaius. I would indeed.