Professor Buchan spoke about the ethical problems in securing enough healthworkers for a community. If there were not enough,it may well be unethical to poach them from somewhere else. On the other hand,it was certainly unethical to prevent health workers from going wherever they wished.
Fascinating, said Ageless under his breath. I do like ethical conundrums.
Baby Pierre was puzzled. Why did Ageless care about such things? Had he forgotten that he was a lobster, and would never grow old?
Doctor Lavender stood up.
Next year, he said, Australia will produce 2945 domestic medical graduates, of which South Australia will produce 285. It is not nearly enough.
He can tell the future, whispered Lavender. When it's over, I'm going to ask him a question.
Baby Pierre wondered what her question would be. Surely she wouldn't ask him if he was her daddy?
At the end of the speeches, questions were invited from the audience. Lavender went up to the microphone.
My question is for Doctor Lavender, she said loudly. Doctor Lavender, are you my daddy?
Doctor Lavender looked as though he was not often asked this question.
No, he said. And I consider that an inappropriate question.
My name is Lavender, said Lavender, and I can tell the future just like you. I absolutely definitely know you are going to be my daddy.
No, I am not, said Doctor Lavender. If you can tell the future, you ought to know that.
It's you who can't properly tell the future, said Lavender, her voice rising. I guess there won't be 2945 doctors next year after all.
Everyone laughed.
Lavender burst into tears.
Baby Pierre couldn't stand it.
Lavender, he said. You are a PAIN!
Are there any other questions? asked Doctor Lavender.
Showing posts with label ageless lobster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ageless lobster. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Goodbye Baby
Baby Pierre was sad the Tour de France was over. Not that he had been able to watch it. But he could hear the television from the next room.
What a shame Sweezus didn't win, he thought. Sweezus was my favourite rider.
The television was on the next night too. Baby Pierre was listening. The program was called QI. Stephen Fry was saying something about jellyfish. Baby Pierre's ears pricked up.
Why are my ears pricking up? said Baby Pierre. I don't have ears. But what is Stephen Fry saying?
Stephen Fry was saying that there was a jellyfish called The Immortal Jellyfish. He said it had the remarkable quality of becoming younger after it had reproduced.
Wow, said Baby Pierre. I wonder if Ageless Lobster knows about this?
He rolled to the middle of the window sill to say goodbye to Kobo.
Auntie Kobo, he said, I'm off on my travels again. This time I'm going on my own.
Why's that? asked Kobo.
Because Frog is dead, said Baby Piere sadly.
Frog, said Kobo, vaguely. Do you mean that tomato?
That tomato was my best friend Frog, said Baby Pierre. There will never be another like him.
How true, said Kobo. I hope you have a warm scarf.
I do, said Baby Pierre. Is that all you have to say?
Say hello to Ageless, said Kobo.
How did you know? asked Baby Pierre.
I listen to QI as well, said Kobo. Good bye, Baby Pierre.
What a shame Sweezus didn't win, he thought. Sweezus was my favourite rider.
The television was on the next night too. Baby Pierre was listening. The program was called QI. Stephen Fry was saying something about jellyfish. Baby Pierre's ears pricked up.
Why are my ears pricking up? said Baby Pierre. I don't have ears. But what is Stephen Fry saying?
Stephen Fry was saying that there was a jellyfish called The Immortal Jellyfish. He said it had the remarkable quality of becoming younger after it had reproduced.
Wow, said Baby Pierre. I wonder if Ageless Lobster knows about this?
He rolled to the middle of the window sill to say goodbye to Kobo.
Auntie Kobo, he said, I'm off on my travels again. This time I'm going on my own.
Why's that? asked Kobo.
Because Frog is dead, said Baby Piere sadly.
Frog, said Kobo, vaguely. Do you mean that tomato?
That tomato was my best friend Frog, said Baby Pierre. There will never be another like him.
How true, said Kobo. I hope you have a warm scarf.
I do, said Baby Pierre. Is that all you have to say?
Say hello to Ageless, said Kobo.
How did you know? asked Baby Pierre.
I listen to QI as well, said Kobo. Good bye, Baby Pierre.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
An Affecting Scene
It was late when they arrived home, but the lights were still on in the house.
Let's climb onto the window ledge, said Baby Pierre, and look through the window.
I can't get up there, said Frog. I'll wait down below.
So Ageless and Baby Pierre made their way up the wall, and on to the ledge and looked in through the window.
There's mummy! said Baby Pierre, pointing to Pierre in the corner. And there's the Manifest Stone.
That's your mummy? said Ageless. She has.... most unusual features.
Yes she has, said Baby Pierre. One of them is that she is bossy. Another is that she is religious. A third is that she is stupid.
I meant her appearance, said Ageless.
Don't be rude about my mummy! said Baby Pierre.
Sorry, said Ageless. The Manifest Stone looks .... less irregular.
The Manifest Stone is boring, said Baby Pierre. It never does anything. It just is.
Ah! said Ageless.
What do you mean, "Ah!"? said Baby Pierre. Don't tell me you are religious?
Well, said Ageless, I do tend to want to believe in something. I told your Aunt Kobo once that I believed in a Universal Creative Lobsterian Force...
Oh I remember, said Baby Pierre. She laughed so much she fell into the sink.
You mean that was TRUE? said Ageless, impressed.
Yes, it was true, said Baby Pierre. But she didn't get out of it by praying. Look, that's her over there! Near that pot. That pot wasn't there when I left. Nor were those white roses. And ....oh no! .....look!
Ageless looked.....
Let's climb onto the window ledge, said Baby Pierre, and look through the window.
I can't get up there, said Frog. I'll wait down below.
So Ageless and Baby Pierre made their way up the wall, and on to the ledge and looked in through the window.
There's mummy! said Baby Pierre, pointing to Pierre in the corner. And there's the Manifest Stone.
That's your mummy? said Ageless. She has.... most unusual features.
Yes she has, said Baby Pierre. One of them is that she is bossy. Another is that she is religious. A third is that she is stupid.
I meant her appearance, said Ageless.
Don't be rude about my mummy! said Baby Pierre.
Sorry, said Ageless. The Manifest Stone looks .... less irregular.
The Manifest Stone is boring, said Baby Pierre. It never does anything. It just is.
Ah! said Ageless.
What do you mean, "Ah!"? said Baby Pierre. Don't tell me you are religious?
Well, said Ageless, I do tend to want to believe in something. I told your Aunt Kobo once that I believed in a Universal Creative Lobsterian Force...
Oh I remember, said Baby Pierre. She laughed so much she fell into the sink.
You mean that was TRUE? said Ageless, impressed.
Yes, it was true, said Baby Pierre. But she didn't get out of it by praying. Look, that's her over there! Near that pot. That pot wasn't there when I left. Nor were those white roses. And ....oh no! .....look!
Ageless looked.....
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Temptation
The science event was over and Baby Pierre was taking Frog home. Ageless accompanied them to the bus stop. Frog looked up at the night sky.
Look, he said faintly, a red star. I shall soon be as tiny as that red star. I feel myself shrinking fast.
That red star up there is the Lobster's Armpit, said Ageless. Humans call it
Betelgeuse.
Ah! said Baby Pierre. That is one of the sights I wanted to see!
Well, there it is, said Ageless. What else did you want to see?
I wanted to see you, said Baby Pierre. I wanted to tell you that I didn't want you to be my daddy.
I am not your daddy, said Ageless.
But you wanted to be my daddy, said Baby Pierre.
No I didn't, I just made that up for Kobo, said Ageless, uncomfortably.
Oh, said Baby Pierre. I also wanted to see the Library. But it was closed.
It will be open again tomorrow, said Ageless. You don't have to go home.
Frog needs to go home, said Baby Pierre. But I'll go to the Library one day.
Meet me there, said Ageless. I'm there every day. Thinking up stories.
For Kobo? Baby Pierre's eyes widened.
Yes, for Kobo, said Ageless.
Why don't you come home with us, Ageless? said Frog. You could talk to her then.
Oh no, I don't think so, said Ageless. No, that wouldn't do.
You wouldn't have to come in, said Baby Pierre. You could just look through the window. At least you could see her.
Alright, said Ageless, I will.
Look, he said faintly, a red star. I shall soon be as tiny as that red star. I feel myself shrinking fast.
That red star up there is the Lobster's Armpit, said Ageless. Humans call it
Betelgeuse.
Ah! said Baby Pierre. That is one of the sights I wanted to see!
Well, there it is, said Ageless. What else did you want to see?
I wanted to see you, said Baby Pierre. I wanted to tell you that I didn't want you to be my daddy.
I am not your daddy, said Ageless.
But you wanted to be my daddy, said Baby Pierre.
No I didn't, I just made that up for Kobo, said Ageless, uncomfortably.
Oh, said Baby Pierre. I also wanted to see the Library. But it was closed.
It will be open again tomorrow, said Ageless. You don't have to go home.
Frog needs to go home, said Baby Pierre. But I'll go to the Library one day.
Meet me there, said Ageless. I'm there every day. Thinking up stories.
For Kobo? Baby Pierre's eyes widened.
Yes, for Kobo, said Ageless.
Why don't you come home with us, Ageless? said Frog. You could talk to her then.
Oh no, I don't think so, said Ageless. No, that wouldn't do.
You wouldn't have to come in, said Baby Pierre. You could just look through the window. At least you could see her.
Alright, said Ageless, I will.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Power of Beauty
Everyone in the Blue Group was impressed with Frog. A tomato that recognised a quote from Nietszche!
Of course, said Frog. Nietszche was referring to Christian morality, not life forms, synthetic or otherwise. I believe that I myself contain the seeds of my own propagation. Furthermore, I feel my time is near. Therefore do not think me rude if I leave you prematurely. Let me remind you before I go that you have only two minutes left to come up with a list of three policy issues to present to the assembled groups downstairs. Goodbye, my friends.
And Frog left the table, his dignity intact.
Downstairs he found Ageless and Baby Pierre already sitting at their table.
You look very red, said Baby Pierre. What happened?
Nothing, said Frog. Can we go home now?
No, said Ageless. It's clicker pad time! Are we hopeful, sceptical or alarmed about the future of Synthetic Biology? What do we think, boys? We've got one vote between
us.
You decide, said Baby Pierre. I think Frog needs to go home.
Oh, said Ageless, clicking on 'alarmed'. Drat! I meant to click on 'hopeful'!
Did you? said Frog. Does that mean you've changed your mind?
Yes, said Ageless. There was such a pretty young lady in my group.
Of course, said Frog. Nietszche was referring to Christian morality, not life forms, synthetic or otherwise. I believe that I myself contain the seeds of my own propagation. Furthermore, I feel my time is near. Therefore do not think me rude if I leave you prematurely. Let me remind you before I go that you have only two minutes left to come up with a list of three policy issues to present to the assembled groups downstairs. Goodbye, my friends.
And Frog left the table, his dignity intact.
Downstairs he found Ageless and Baby Pierre already sitting at their table.
You look very red, said Baby Pierre. What happened?
Nothing, said Frog. Can we go home now?
No, said Ageless. It's clicker pad time! Are we hopeful, sceptical or alarmed about the future of Synthetic Biology? What do we think, boys? We've got one vote between
us.
You decide, said Baby Pierre. I think Frog needs to go home.
Oh, said Ageless, clicking on 'alarmed'. Drat! I meant to click on 'hopeful'!
Did you? said Frog. Does that mean you've changed your mind?
Yes, said Ageless. There was such a pretty young lady in my group.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
A Tulip !
When I say I go by the name Ageless, said the lobster, I should add that all lobsters go by that name, because we do not age.
Wow! said Frog, again. How lucky are you?
It's a mixed blessing, said the lobster. It means we have to die of a nasty accident. Believe me, you wouldn't like to live with that.
I would, said Frog.
No, you wouldn't, said Ageless firmly. I would choose to be a tomato any day.
No, you wouldn't, said Frog. I'm only a few weeks old and look at me.
Oh, stop it, said Baby Pierre. Mr Ageless, do you know Kobo the fossilised clam?
The lobster stiffened, although this was imperceptible.
My beloved Kobo! he cried. I do!
Then you are my daddy, said Baby Pierre. Why didn't you recognise me by the lobster claw marking on top of my head?
I thought it was a tulip, said Ageless.
Frog grinned, then stopped because his skin felt rather tight.
A tulip! said Baby Pierre.
Never mind, said Frog. You didn't recognise your daddy either.
That's because he's blue, muttered Baby Pierre.
Of course I'm blue, said Ageless. What did you think I would be? Red?
Yes, said Baby Pierre. If you want to know, I thought you would be red.
Ha ha! laughed Ageless. If I were red I would be COOKED! That's exactly the sort of nasty accident we lobsters try to avoid. Well, boys are you coming?
Let me see the red hat first, before deciding, said Baby Pierre.
Here it is, said Ageless. Click, click, I knitted it myself!
Wow! said Frog, again. How lucky are you?
It's a mixed blessing, said the lobster. It means we have to die of a nasty accident. Believe me, you wouldn't like to live with that.
I would, said Frog.
No, you wouldn't, said Ageless firmly. I would choose to be a tomato any day.
No, you wouldn't, said Frog. I'm only a few weeks old and look at me.
Oh, stop it, said Baby Pierre. Mr Ageless, do you know Kobo the fossilised clam?
The lobster stiffened, although this was imperceptible.
My beloved Kobo! he cried. I do!
Then you are my daddy, said Baby Pierre. Why didn't you recognise me by the lobster claw marking on top of my head?
I thought it was a tulip, said Ageless.
Frog grinned, then stopped because his skin felt rather tight.
A tulip! said Baby Pierre.
Never mind, said Frog. You didn't recognise your daddy either.
That's because he's blue, muttered Baby Pierre.
Of course I'm blue, said Ageless. What did you think I would be? Red?
Yes, said Baby Pierre. If you want to know, I thought you would be red.
Ha ha! laughed Ageless. If I were red I would be COOKED! That's exactly the sort of nasty accident we lobsters try to avoid. Well, boys are you coming?
Let me see the red hat first, before deciding, said Baby Pierre.
Here it is, said Ageless. Click, click, I knitted it myself!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Who is The Middle-Aged Lobster?
The middle-aged lobster stopped. He glanced back at Baby Pierre and Frog.
It's closing time, boys, he said. Didn't you know?
Oh, said Baby Pierre, disappointed. We were hoping to look in a mirror.
Were you indeed? said the lobster. May I ask why?
My friend wants to monitor the progress of his ...umm... Baby Pierre trailed off.
Advancing decrepitude, said Frog. May as well say it.
You look like a perfectly ripe tomato to me, said the lobster. I wouldn't worry about it. Now boys, I'm going to an event across town. It's at the Royal Science Institution. There will be a discussion on the topic of Synthetic Biology, food, drink and best of all, clicker pads. Would you like to come along?
We don't have tickets, said Baby Pierre.
You can come in with me. You are both small. I could secrete you under my hat, said the middle aged lobster. And once inside, we can share the same seat.
What sort of hat is it? asked Baby Pierre, with mounting suspicion.
A red one, said the lobster.
And is your name Ageless? asked Baby Pierre.
I go by that name, admitted the lobster.
Wow! said Frog.
It's closing time, boys, he said. Didn't you know?
Oh, said Baby Pierre, disappointed. We were hoping to look in a mirror.
Were you indeed? said the lobster. May I ask why?
My friend wants to monitor the progress of his ...umm... Baby Pierre trailed off.
Advancing decrepitude, said Frog. May as well say it.
You look like a perfectly ripe tomato to me, said the lobster. I wouldn't worry about it. Now boys, I'm going to an event across town. It's at the Royal Science Institution. There will be a discussion on the topic of Synthetic Biology, food, drink and best of all, clicker pads. Would you like to come along?
We don't have tickets, said Baby Pierre.
You can come in with me. You are both small. I could secrete you under my hat, said the middle aged lobster. And once inside, we can share the same seat.
What sort of hat is it? asked Baby Pierre, with mounting suspicion.
A red one, said the lobster.
And is your name Ageless? asked Baby Pierre.
I go by that name, admitted the lobster.
Wow! said Frog.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Breaking Away
Baby Pierre was back in the corner of the window sill with Mummy Pierre and the Manifest Stone. It wasn't long before he became bored.
Mummy, he began, do you think Ageless will ever find Auntie Kobo?
No dear, said his mummy. And I don't think he really wants to. Or that she wants to be found. He is a living creature and she is a fossilised clam. What could they do together?
Yuk! said Baby Pierre. I never thought about that.
Wait till you grow up said Mummy Pierre. Then you will understand. Meanwhile I think you would do well to keep still and contemplate the Manifest Stone.
No, said Baby Pierre. I am off.
What! cried his Mummy. Off where?
I am off to explore the wide world, said Baby Pierre. I want to learn what is on the other side of the window. I want to see the Red Star. I want to go to a Library. I want to find my daddy and see the red knitted hat.
I thought you were afraid of your daddy and the red knitted hat, said Mummy Pierre.
That is why I have to go, said Baby Pierre. I will not fear my daddy and I won't wear the hat. I want to tell him so.
Well, go if you must, said Mummy Pierre, with a sigh. But first say a prayer to the Manifest Stone.
No, I won't, said Baby Pierre. I am an atheist and a free thinker. I don't believe in the Manifest Stone.
Mummy Pierre glanced fearfully at the Manifest Stone.
The Manifest Stone smiled beatifically through its many orifices.
Mummy, he began, do you think Ageless will ever find Auntie Kobo?
No dear, said his mummy. And I don't think he really wants to. Or that she wants to be found. He is a living creature and she is a fossilised clam. What could they do together?
Yuk! said Baby Pierre. I never thought about that.
Wait till you grow up said Mummy Pierre. Then you will understand. Meanwhile I think you would do well to keep still and contemplate the Manifest Stone.
No, said Baby Pierre. I am off.
What! cried his Mummy. Off where?
I am off to explore the wide world, said Baby Pierre. I want to learn what is on the other side of the window. I want to see the Red Star. I want to go to a Library. I want to find my daddy and see the red knitted hat.
I thought you were afraid of your daddy and the red knitted hat, said Mummy Pierre.
That is why I have to go, said Baby Pierre. I will not fear my daddy and I won't wear the hat. I want to tell him so.
Well, go if you must, said Mummy Pierre, with a sigh. But first say a prayer to the Manifest Stone.
No, I won't, said Baby Pierre. I am an atheist and a free thinker. I don't believe in the Manifest Stone.
Mummy Pierre glanced fearfully at the Manifest Stone.
The Manifest Stone smiled beatifically through its many orifices.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
No One to Look Out
dear ageless, perhaps you do not realise how mmmenacing you sound. baby pierre is frightened of you now. yes i told himmm the story of the red knitted hat. oh!! he said i would not like that hat. and what does mmy daddy mmean OR ELSE????? i am going back to mmmummmy right away.
and off he toddled to the corner of the window sill where his mmummmy lurks, next to the mmmanifest stone.
it was all your fault ageless. i had no one to look out of the window for the red star. i thought i would try asking his mmummmy.
but you know i do not like her she is too religious. she said oh!! the mmmanifest stone says it is forbidden to look out of the window, or sommme such thing. and i said, but pierre darling, you have three wonderfully bulging eyes why not use them? the mmmanifest stone would not even know that you were looking. and she said, i can't kobo, i do not dare, the mmanifest stone knows everything.
so you did not need to ask mme if i want to know what happens next. you did not know yourself. but now you do.
what should we do now ageless???
we have no one to look out for us.
kobo clammm
and off he toddled to the corner of the window sill where his mmummmy lurks, next to the mmmanifest stone.
it was all your fault ageless. i had no one to look out of the window for the red star. i thought i would try asking his mmummmy.
but you know i do not like her she is too religious. she said oh!! the mmmanifest stone says it is forbidden to look out of the window, or sommme such thing. and i said, but pierre darling, you have three wonderfully bulging eyes why not use them? the mmmanifest stone would not even know that you were looking. and she said, i can't kobo, i do not dare, the mmanifest stone knows everything.
so you did not need to ask mme if i want to know what happens next. you did not know yourself. but now you do.
what should we do now ageless???
we have no one to look out for us.
kobo clammm
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Baby Pierre and the Window
do i want to know what happened ageless, do i ??? !!! NO! let mme tell YOU what happened. the lobster daddy camme looking for his little baby. the little baby with the lobster mmarkings on his pretty head. alas!!!!! the little baby was no longer on the window sill. his daddy had told him he should look out of the window. the little baby was too smmall to see out of the window. he had climbed up on his auntie to try and look out of the window, and oh, with a terrible crash he had fallen out of the window!!! so he never got to live in the hole in the sea with his daddy, and learn not to be cleverer than himm. as for the girl in the bell jar ageless , do you want to know what happened??? did she die, you asked mme? did she DIE? she did not die ageless. she climmbed down into the cellar and found a hole. she went into the hole and piled somme stones at the entrance . then she took somme pills. she wanted to die but she didn't die. her mmummmy found her. so it wasn't sad because she didn't die, she got better. and yet it was. do you want to know why ageless ? i will tell you. because sylvia plath who wrote the story killed herself. but later, a long timme after she had written the bell jar. the stories people tell are really about themmselves. they pretend they are about another lobster but they are not. anyway enough of that. baby pierre has not really fallen out of the window. but all he sees when he looks out is the sky, because of the angle he is looking. he wants me to ask you if a constellation sighting would be useful. i told you he was clever ageless, not like you. yours sommmewhat coldly, kobo clammmm
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Lobster Claw
clikclik,,,,,ah,,,,clikclik,,,,ahhh,,,,dear kobo,,,,you should not tease,,,
is it really true???,,,,,baby pierre is marked by the LOBSTER CLAW????,,, then truly i am meant to be his daddy,,,,,how wondrous,,,,,what a pity he is such a little smarty,,,,,,but ageless will fix that,,,,,,,clikclik,,,,whack!!,,,,ageless knows how to be a daddy,,,,
i am at the library kobo,,,,,, i need more information,,,,,,, all the gardens look the same,,,,, they all have taps and sheds and clotheslines ,,,,,,,,,baby pierre the clever little baby ,,,,,,,tell him to look out of the window,,,,,,
i liked your story of the sad girl kobo i like sad stories how does it get sadder ,,,,,, does she DIE?????
i have a story for you kobo see how you like it,,,,,there was a lobster he was looking for his love,,,,,she was a fossilised clam,,,,, he had loved her for a long long time,,,,,,,when he found her she had a little baby,,,,, a beautiful baby very clever and smart,,,,, with the marking of a lobster claw upon its pretty head,,,,,the lobster could not help himself,,,, he stole the little baby from his lover,,,,,,yes he took the little baby,,,, and kept it in a hole under the sea and taught it not to be so clever,,,
do you like that kobo??? do you want to know what happened next????
kiss kiss,,,,,, just ask your friend
ageless lobster
is it really true???,,,,,baby pierre is marked by the LOBSTER CLAW????,,, then truly i am meant to be his daddy,,,,,how wondrous,,,,,what a pity he is such a little smarty,,,,,,but ageless will fix that,,,,,,,clikclik,,,,whack!!,,,,ageless knows how to be a daddy,,,,
i am at the library kobo,,,,,, i need more information,,,,,,, all the gardens look the same,,,,, they all have taps and sheds and clotheslines ,,,,,,,,,baby pierre the clever little baby ,,,,,,,tell him to look out of the window,,,,,,
i liked your story of the sad girl kobo i like sad stories how does it get sadder ,,,,,, does she DIE?????
i have a story for you kobo see how you like it,,,,,there was a lobster he was looking for his love,,,,,she was a fossilised clam,,,,, he had loved her for a long long time,,,,,,,when he found her she had a little baby,,,,, a beautiful baby very clever and smart,,,,, with the marking of a lobster claw upon its pretty head,,,,,the lobster could not help himself,,,, he stole the little baby from his lover,,,,,,yes he took the little baby,,,, and kept it in a hole under the sea and taught it not to be so clever,,,
do you like that kobo??? do you want to know what happened next????
kiss kiss,,,,,, just ask your friend
ageless lobster
Friday, March 25, 2011
The Bell Jar
dear ageless, don't be creepy, mmmm i know what mmmm means and i do not like it you are not mmy boyfriend just mmy friend i know i said you were mmmy boyfriend but that was before you got all creepy ageless cut it out.
i was sad to hear you thought of jumping in the water because i was dead.
no really i was glad.
do you really think mmmy stories beautiful ? here's a sad one for you ageless . i read a book about a girl it was called the bell jar. the girl was clever but she was unhappy. she sat on the roof of a tall building in new york and threw her clothes out over the sleeping city one by one. all she had left then was a black evening dress which she was wearing on the roof. the next day she had to go back to the country. she borrowed a green skirt from a friend and had to wear it all the summmer long. immagine that ageless. it was funny but it was sad and it gets sadder do you like sad stories ageless?
ageless have you looked at any mmmmaps? the satellite mmaps? baby pierre says you should go into a library. i did not tell himmm that you called himm a smmarty pants and a clever clogs, his mmummmy pierre used to call him that. it is why he hates his mmummmy.
don't be jealous he is beautiful. his mmummmy looks like a mmouse with bulbous eyes but he looks like a precious angel. and guess what? you will like this ageless!! he has a special mmmarking on his head, the mmmark of lobster claws. you see you mmmust be mmmeant to be his daddy.
hurry up and get to a library ageless hurry. i hope you are not wasting timmmme mmmoooning by the water.
kissy kiss mmmy boyfriend NO not mmy boyfriend, but mmmaybe
yours
kobo clammm
i was sad to hear you thought of jumping in the water because i was dead.
no really i was glad.
do you really think mmmy stories beautiful ? here's a sad one for you ageless . i read a book about a girl it was called the bell jar. the girl was clever but she was unhappy. she sat on the roof of a tall building in new york and threw her clothes out over the sleeping city one by one. all she had left then was a black evening dress which she was wearing on the roof. the next day she had to go back to the country. she borrowed a green skirt from a friend and had to wear it all the summmer long. immagine that ageless. it was funny but it was sad and it gets sadder do you like sad stories ageless?
ageless have you looked at any mmmmaps? the satellite mmaps? baby pierre says you should go into a library. i did not tell himmm that you called himm a smmarty pants and a clever clogs, his mmummmy pierre used to call him that. it is why he hates his mmummmy.
don't be jealous he is beautiful. his mmummmy looks like a mmouse with bulbous eyes but he looks like a precious angel. and guess what? you will like this ageless!! he has a special mmmarking on his head, the mmmark of lobster claws. you see you mmmust be mmmeant to be his daddy.
hurry up and get to a library ageless hurry. i hope you are not wasting timmmme mmmoooning by the water.
kissy kiss mmmy boyfriend NO not mmy boyfriend, but mmmaybe
yours
kobo clammm
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Ageless and Baby Pierre
dear kobo,,,,,,, clikclikclik,,,, o how joyful i am to hear that you are not dead,,,,,, o the gladnesss,,, o the gratefulnesss,,,,,clikclik,,,,
is that what you wanted me to say kobo is it ????? did you think i would be GLAD to know that you were saved and yet,,,,,, you forgot to tell me!!!!,, clikclik,,,, i am sorry but i feel a little HARD towards you,,,serves you right ,,,, ha ha that has 2 meanings,,,did you get it kobo??
it was bad kobo,,,,, i thought you were gurgling down a drain hole headed for the sea,,,,,,,,for weeks i hoped you might be at the outlet,,,,,,i waited there but no,,,,,,
i was sitting on the rocks beside the cold and gloomy clikcliklaplaplapping water,,, grey water slapping water,,, on the rocks,,,, i thought kobo is gone never more will she tell me beautiful stories ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i thought why not jump into the water ,,,,,,,,,are you sorry for me kobo are you ??,,,, but i didn't do it anyway i am a lobster ha ha i would not have drowned
i forgive you kobo,,, you are my friend it is not your fault you have no conscience,,,,,,,,,you have been a fossil for too long,,,
kobo google street maps are no good,,,,,clikclik,,,,they only show front gardens,,,,this is how it works,,,,the google cars drive past the houses with a camera,,,,,,,,,but kobo ,,,a tap a shed a clothesline,,,,,these are back garden things,,,, your little baby pierre is not as clever as you think,,,,,,i do not like him,,,,why does he not like his mummy ,,,,,,,hmmm?
is that what you wanted me to say kobo is it ????? did you think i would be GLAD to know that you were saved and yet,,,,,, you forgot to tell me!!!!,, clikclik,,,, i am sorry but i feel a little HARD towards you,,,serves you right ,,,, ha ha that has 2 meanings,,,did you get it kobo??
it was bad kobo,,,,, i thought you were gurgling down a drain hole headed for the sea,,,,,,,,for weeks i hoped you might be at the outlet,,,,,,i waited there but no,,,,,,
i was sitting on the rocks beside the cold and gloomy clikcliklaplaplapping water,,, grey water slapping water,,, on the rocks,,,, i thought kobo is gone never more will she tell me beautiful stories ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i thought why not jump into the water ,,,,,,,,,are you sorry for me kobo are you ??,,,, but i didn't do it anyway i am a lobster ha ha i would not have drowned
i forgive you kobo,,, you are my friend it is not your fault you have no conscience,,,,,,,,,you have been a fossil for too long,,,
kobo google street maps are no good,,,,,clikclik,,,,they only show front gardens,,,,this is how it works,,,,the google cars drive past the houses with a camera,,,,,,,,,but kobo ,,,a tap a shed a clothesline,,,,,these are back garden things,,,, your little baby pierre is not as clever as you think,,,,,,i do not like him,,,,why does he not like his mummy ,,,,,,,hmmm?
tell the little smarty-pants,,, the little clever-clogs,,, that only satellite maps look into back gardens,,,, not street maps,,,,,,,,,tell him ageless doesn't need him ageless is already on the trail,,,,,,,,,,,
are you happy kobo,,,?
,,, i miss you dear sweet kobo,,,, clik clik kiss,,,keep in touch,,, touch,,,, get it??? touch,,,mm,,
ageless lobster
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Kobo and Baby Pierre
A gust of wind from an open door takes Pliny's poem and deposits it on the window sill, next to Kobo the Fossilised Clam. Unable to read it she asks for help from Baby Pierre. Baby Pierre obliges. Kobo immediately writes to her friend Ageless Lobster:
dear ageless hello ageless dear! surprise surprise it is mmme kobo your friend yes i amm not dead. you mmmust be glad !!
o!! i owe you an apology i know, it was that stupid pierre, she told you i had gone down the horrid hole in the mmetal bowl under the window sill and that she had been saved because she was praying. i always mmmeant to tell you ageless that i was saved as well and i wasn't praying and that's what mmade her mmad. but i forgot.
she is not mmmy friend any more i amm friends now with her baby, baby pierre, yes so cute! the baby is called baby pierre it is a little round stone like pierre but more beautiful and not religious. don't be jealous ageless he is just a little boy you know.
do you still want to find mme agelesss do you? baby pierre has told me where i ammm. it is somewhere with sky and a fence and blackened leaves, a tap, a shed, a clothesline, a peach tree and a fig tree, rooflines, and at night the mmmoon.
baby pierre wants you to find us too he doesn't like his mmummmy and he wants to go away. he says you should look at all the google street mmmaps till you find the place, i know you will find us soon ageless you are resourceful for a lobster.
mmmany kisses
your friend kobo clammmm
ps please don't be mmoulting !
dear ageless hello ageless dear! surprise surprise it is mmme kobo your friend yes i amm not dead. you mmmust be glad !!
o!! i owe you an apology i know, it was that stupid pierre, she told you i had gone down the horrid hole in the mmetal bowl under the window sill and that she had been saved because she was praying. i always mmmeant to tell you ageless that i was saved as well and i wasn't praying and that's what mmade her mmad. but i forgot.
she is not mmmy friend any more i amm friends now with her baby, baby pierre, yes so cute! the baby is called baby pierre it is a little round stone like pierre but more beautiful and not religious. don't be jealous ageless he is just a little boy you know.
do you still want to find mme agelesss do you? baby pierre has told me where i ammm. it is somewhere with sky and a fence and blackened leaves, a tap, a shed, a clothesline, a peach tree and a fig tree, rooflines, and at night the mmmoon.
baby pierre wants you to find us too he doesn't like his mmummmy and he wants to go away. he says you should look at all the google street mmmaps till you find the place, i know you will find us soon ageless you are resourceful for a lobster.
mmmany kisses
your friend kobo clammmm
ps please don't be mmoulting !
Monday, February 7, 2011
Recklessness
oh ageless what a lovely story of the search and rescue, yes ageless i ammm cheered up now
but i ammm still down here dangerously, and i know you do not like pierre ( or do you? ) but she is down here dangerously as well.
this is how, it is not a long story. she tried to help mmme and she tummbled down into the mmmetal bowl, now we are both waiting for a search and rescue.
pierre is pinning all her hopes on the mmmmanifest stone, but i do not believe in it, she is annoying mmme by saying all the timmme ommmmmm.
ommmmm is not the thing to say, if the stone hears it the stone will think she is alright, i think she should say help!
not that i think the stone can hear it, it's a stone. you and mmme agelesss we believe in different things but we are agreed that what pierre believes is stupid.
i know we are. however she is mmy bosommm friend so i ammm praying too but insincerely. ommmmmmm. and in between the ommmmms i'm thinking about going down the hole.
i hear water gurgling down the hole agelesss, water,
you live in the water mmaybe i would find a way to you.
i have not told pierre what i ammm thinking what do you think ageless shall i take a plunge?? i think i will...
your reckless friend,
kobo
but i ammm still down here dangerously, and i know you do not like pierre ( or do you? ) but she is down here dangerously as well.
this is how, it is not a long story. she tried to help mmme and she tummbled down into the mmmetal bowl, now we are both waiting for a search and rescue.
pierre is pinning all her hopes on the mmmmanifest stone, but i do not believe in it, she is annoying mmme by saying all the timmme ommmmmm.
ommmmm is not the thing to say, if the stone hears it the stone will think she is alright, i think she should say help!
not that i think the stone can hear it, it's a stone. you and mmme agelesss we believe in different things but we are agreed that what pierre believes is stupid.
i know we are. however she is mmy bosommm friend so i ammm praying too but insincerely. ommmmmmm. and in between the ommmmms i'm thinking about going down the hole.
i hear water gurgling down the hole agelesss, water,
you live in the water mmaybe i would find a way to you.
i have not told pierre what i ammm thinking what do you think ageless shall i take a plunge?? i think i will...
your reckless friend,
kobo
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Search and Rescue or The Noble Claw
oh no kobo i am not laughing!! distraught is what i am,,,, oh kobo,,,, are you rescued yet?
pierre is just a stone what can she do pray? i mean what can she do? pray?,,,,you know what i mean,,,, oh kobo i wish that i could find you i have not given up,,,,,
the creative lobsterian force that made you laugh and fall into the metallic trough so near the horrid hole,,, it might help you,,,,,,,,let me tell you how creative forces work,,,,,,they do a bad thing followed by a good thing,,, unless they forget to do the good thing,,,,but it could be worse,,,, you have not fallen down the hole,,,,,, how lucky!!!! unless oh no !! you have?
are you cheered up kobo,,,,, are you cheered up now???
i will tell you a story in case you are still frightened,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, or was it bored you said you were????,,,,,,,,either way you will like this story,,,,,,,,it is about a search and rescue kobo,,,,,,,,,
i was at the beach at brighton it was a special day,,,,,swimming races for the humans and food and fun,,,,,, there was a stage and loud music in front of the surf life saving club and stalls and young humans in shorts drinking yellow bubbling drinks from plastic cups,,,,, red and yellow flags and sausages,,,,, and rusty metal sculptures,,,,,,,you could walk around and look at them in the sun and wind,,,
one of the sculptures was called search and rescue,,,,,, it was made of two different kinds of metal,,,,, a tall rusty spanner in the middle and shining metal waves curling round the outside,,,,,but you could not be certain,,,,,the rusty spanner might have been a hand and the shining waves tinsnips,,,,,, or the tinsnips a claw and the hand a sinking clam,,,,,,,,,,you see,,,, it moved me kobo,,,,,,
do you like it kobo? if only it were true,,,,,, if only you could be rescued by the noble lobsterian claw of your true and loyal friend (unlike pierre),,,,,,
ageless
pierre is just a stone what can she do pray? i mean what can she do? pray?,,,,you know what i mean,,,, oh kobo i wish that i could find you i have not given up,,,,,
the creative lobsterian force that made you laugh and fall into the metallic trough so near the horrid hole,,, it might help you,,,,,,,,let me tell you how creative forces work,,,,,,they do a bad thing followed by a good thing,,, unless they forget to do the good thing,,,,but it could be worse,,,, you have not fallen down the hole,,,,,, how lucky!!!! unless oh no !! you have?
are you cheered up kobo,,,,, are you cheered up now???
i will tell you a story in case you are still frightened,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, or was it bored you said you were????,,,,,,,,either way you will like this story,,,,,,,,it is about a search and rescue kobo,,,,,,,,,
i was at the beach at brighton it was a special day,,,,,swimming races for the humans and food and fun,,,,,, there was a stage and loud music in front of the surf life saving club and stalls and young humans in shorts drinking yellow bubbling drinks from plastic cups,,,,, red and yellow flags and sausages,,,,, and rusty metal sculptures,,,,,,,you could walk around and look at them in the sun and wind,,,
one of the sculptures was called search and rescue,,,,,, it was made of two different kinds of metal,,,,, a tall rusty spanner in the middle and shining metal waves curling round the outside,,,,,but you could not be certain,,,,,the rusty spanner might have been a hand and the shining waves tinsnips,,,,,, or the tinsnips a claw and the hand a sinking clam,,,,,,,,,,you see,,,, it moved me kobo,,,,,,
do you like it kobo? if only it were true,,,,,, if only you could be rescued by the noble lobsterian claw of your true and loyal friend (unlike pierre),,,,,,
ageless
Friday, February 4, 2011
Lower Things
sorry kobo sorry sorry,,,,,i do want to know about humboldt's gift i do,,,,,,,,what is it?? do you know yet,,,,,i am anxious,,,,,you said humboldt has died? ,,,,perhaps it will be a book of poems,,,,or cash in an envelope,,,,
forgive me,,, pierre is not my beloved it is you kobo,,,,,clikclik,,,
you say she is religious,,,,hmmm,,,how fascinating,,,,sorry kobo,,,i mean how,,,, not exactly fascinating but nevertheless,,,,,,,
is her god a stone god????,,,,,,,,,,,does she worship a STONE?,,,,you can't tell me a stone would have the intelligence to worship a LOBSTER!
i myself am not religious kobo,,,,,,but i like to think about these lower things,,,, do you??? i can't believe god is a giant lobster in the deepest ocean with a long beard and all that sort of thing can you???? ,,,,,waiting for us mortal lobsters to die so we can join him there,,,,,why did he bother to make us ageless then???,,,,,that's what i'd like to know,,,,,but i do believe in some sort of Creative Universal Lobsterian Force,,,,,,,,
whether it loves us,,,that's another thing of course,,,,,
you didn't know i had a deep side did you kobo???? well now you do,,,,i hope you will still like me kobo,,,,,perhaps you will like me more,,,,,
dear kobo, i hope you will tell me soon what humboldt's gift is,,,,,,and more about pierre,,,,,,,no sorry,,,,,never mind,,
your devoted friend,,,,,,
ageless
forgive me,,, pierre is not my beloved it is you kobo,,,,,clikclik,,,
you say she is religious,,,,hmmm,,,how fascinating,,,,sorry kobo,,,i mean how,,,, not exactly fascinating but nevertheless,,,,,,,
is her god a stone god????,,,,,,,,,,,does she worship a STONE?,,,,you can't tell me a stone would have the intelligence to worship a LOBSTER!
i myself am not religious kobo,,,,,,but i like to think about these lower things,,,, do you??? i can't believe god is a giant lobster in the deepest ocean with a long beard and all that sort of thing can you???? ,,,,,waiting for us mortal lobsters to die so we can join him there,,,,,why did he bother to make us ageless then???,,,,,that's what i'd like to know,,,,,but i do believe in some sort of Creative Universal Lobsterian Force,,,,,,,,
whether it loves us,,,that's another thing of course,,,,,
you didn't know i had a deep side did you kobo???? well now you do,,,,i hope you will still like me kobo,,,,,perhaps you will like me more,,,,,
dear kobo, i hope you will tell me soon what humboldt's gift is,,,,,,and more about pierre,,,,,,,no sorry,,,,,never mind,,
your devoted friend,,,,,,
ageless
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Jealous of a Stone
jealous ageless! why should I be jealous although i do think you are trying to mmake mme jealous why should i a fossilised clammm be jealous of a stone???
her namme is pierre if you want to know. PIERRE!!!
i know what you are thinking ageless that's a boy's nammme ha! it is a stone's nammme. if you are so good at french you mmust know that.
she is quite religious, mmy sister pierre. you mmust be careful what you say to her don't mmention god it sets her off, not that you are going to commmunicate with her are you???
if you want to ask her anything ask mmme and i will tell her what you asked, it's better.
i amm very madd with you agelesss very mmmad indeed, and if you think about it you'll know why.
i'mmm reading hummmboldt's gift. do you seemmm to care? no.
and you would like it ageless but it is a puzzle to mmme. i amm up to page two hundred and thirty seven ageless, and i still don't know what hummmboldt's gift is. but i suspect i amm about to learn.
perhaps it is a necklace wrapped in red paper, yes i liked your story, but i don't think so.
hummboldt was a crazy poet he has died early on in the story. his friend has just received a letter from his wife kathleen. if it does not reveal the gift of hummboldt i will be temmpted to cheat and read ahead it is driving mmme insane not really.
i may as well tell you pierre did like your story.
you do not deserve to even know that agelesss. you are supposed to be MMMMMY FRIEND as i ammm yours
your spurned beloved kobo
her namme is pierre if you want to know. PIERRE!!!
i know what you are thinking ageless that's a boy's nammme ha! it is a stone's nammme. if you are so good at french you mmust know that.
she is quite religious, mmy sister pierre. you mmust be careful what you say to her don't mmention god it sets her off, not that you are going to commmunicate with her are you???
if you want to ask her anything ask mmme and i will tell her what you asked, it's better.
i amm very madd with you agelesss very mmmad indeed, and if you think about it you'll know why.
i'mmm reading hummmboldt's gift. do you seemmm to care? no.
and you would like it ageless but it is a puzzle to mmme. i amm up to page two hundred and thirty seven ageless, and i still don't know what hummmboldt's gift is. but i suspect i amm about to learn.
perhaps it is a necklace wrapped in red paper, yes i liked your story, but i don't think so.
hummboldt was a crazy poet he has died early on in the story. his friend has just received a letter from his wife kathleen. if it does not reveal the gift of hummboldt i will be temmpted to cheat and read ahead it is driving mmme insane not really.
i may as well tell you pierre did like your story.
you do not deserve to even know that agelesss. you are supposed to be MMMMMY FRIEND as i ammm yours
your spurned beloved kobo
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The Necklace
haha french now kobo,,, you think it might be french,,,,,,?? i never heard of a tomato speaking french,,,,,besides the g in manger is a soft g ,,,that would not have sounded much like mango,,,
why don't you ask your sister what they say,,,, she has big ears,,,,,,,
your sister is she,,,her beauty spot,,,is she ,,,, is she pretty?? don't be jealous i'm just clikclik asking,,,,
i have a story for you kobo i was at the beach on tuesday it was windy,,,,oh ! windy,, the waves were tumbling in,,,,,,,there were two people standing in the surf ,,,,,they were wide people with wide pink backs,,,,,,only wide people could stand up in it without falling over,,,,,
i crawled up jetty road where all the humans were eating to get out of the wind,,,,,,,,,,,i watched the people eating under umbrellas,,,,,, eating caesar salads and baguettes,,,they had little bits of lettuce poking from the corners of their mouths,,,they stuck their paper napkins in between the table slats to stop them blowing away,,,,,,
it was an old woman's birthday she had a present wrapped up in red paper,,,,,, when she opened it it was a necklace,,,,,a long one,,,,,,,,,, it would go around her neck three times if she put it on,,,, she stared and stared,,,,as if she didn't know what it was,,,,,,her friends stared too and pointed,,,,,,,, oh,,,it's a necklace,,,,
do you like it kobo???
will your sister like it???
what is her name????
please hurry up and tell your good friend,,,,,,,,,,,
ageless
why don't you ask your sister what they say,,,, she has big ears,,,,,,,
your sister is she,,,her beauty spot,,,is she ,,,, is she pretty?? don't be jealous i'm just clikclik asking,,,,
i have a story for you kobo i was at the beach on tuesday it was windy,,,,oh ! windy,, the waves were tumbling in,,,,,,,there were two people standing in the surf ,,,,,they were wide people with wide pink backs,,,,,,only wide people could stand up in it without falling over,,,,,
i crawled up jetty road where all the humans were eating to get out of the wind,,,,,,,,,,,i watched the people eating under umbrellas,,,,,, eating caesar salads and baguettes,,,they had little bits of lettuce poking from the corners of their mouths,,,they stuck their paper napkins in between the table slats to stop them blowing away,,,,,,
it was an old woman's birthday she had a present wrapped up in red paper,,,,,, when she opened it it was a necklace,,,,,a long one,,,,,,,,,, it would go around her neck three times if she put it on,,,, she stared and stared,,,,as if she didn't know what it was,,,,,,her friends stared too and pointed,,,,,,,, oh,,,it's a necklace,,,,
do you like it kobo???
will your sister like it???
what is her name????
please hurry up and tell your good friend,,,,,,,,,,,
ageless
Sunday, January 30, 2011
The Fry Chronicles
dear ageless how immmmpatient you are,
no i was not scared i have been trying to learn the language of tommmmatoes and i think i have discovered sommething this is what it is:
the tommatoes only have one word they say it all the timmme and what they say is manngo mmango mmango mmango, this leads mme to deduce they are speaking latin what do you think ageless?
although i note that you were lying about your knowing of their language.
why did you do that ageless??? we are friends we should not lie.
i like part two of your story of the japanese girls, do you think the answer to the mmmmystery
is that they left the beach to change their clothes , and that you simmply didn't see themmm go?
but it doesn't mmmatter, it is a most delightful and mmysterious story. have you any mmmore?
i want to tell you a story too, would you like mmme to?
only i can't just now because i ammm reading like the clappers sommething that i don't think you would like, it is the fry chronicles it is about stephen fry the mman who wrote it. he wrote it about himself you would be bored. there is no sand in it no stones or pebbles only stories about cammmmbridge university and the footlights club and his commmmedy career i like it myself i ammm into commmedy and the nammme droppings of english life
i bet you aren't, being a lobster
i have to finish it quick because mmy sister wants it,
therefore byebye for now agelesss, but keep on writing to mmme i always have timme for you my dearest agelesss
your dearest kobo x
no i was not scared i have been trying to learn the language of tommmmatoes and i think i have discovered sommething this is what it is:
the tommatoes only have one word they say it all the timmme and what they say is manngo mmango mmango mmango, this leads mme to deduce they are speaking latin what do you think ageless?
although i note that you were lying about your knowing of their language.
why did you do that ageless??? we are friends we should not lie.
i like part two of your story of the japanese girls, do you think the answer to the mmmmystery
is that they left the beach to change their clothes , and that you simmply didn't see themmm go?
but it doesn't mmmatter, it is a most delightful and mmysterious story. have you any mmmore?
i want to tell you a story too, would you like mmme to?
only i can't just now because i ammm reading like the clappers sommething that i don't think you would like, it is the fry chronicles it is about stephen fry the mman who wrote it. he wrote it about himself you would be bored. there is no sand in it no stones or pebbles only stories about cammmmbridge university and the footlights club and his commmmedy career i like it myself i ammm into commmedy and the nammme droppings of english life
i bet you aren't, being a lobster
i have to finish it quick because mmy sister wants it,
therefore byebye for now agelesss, but keep on writing to mmme i always have timme for you my dearest agelesss
your dearest kobo x
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