Double Squirt

The VeloDrone and Le Bon David are checking out the Adelaide Street Theatre Festival in Rymill Park. There is a large crowd gathered round a square of grass, hogging all the available shade and spilling out into the sun.

Volunteer Sunscreen Lady: Would you like a squirt of complimentary sunscreen?

The VeloDrone: Yes, please, seeing we are going to have to stand in the sun. David, do you want some?

Le Bon David: Thank you. I remembered a hat but my legs are uncovered. I do not usually go out in shorts.

Volunteer Sunscreen Lady: So I see. Have a double squirt.

They hold out their hands and are given squirts. They rub it onto their legs and arms. The show begins.

Popeye One: 'Allo! Vee are 'Popeyed' from Russia! Vee are going to do some treecks for you!

Popeye Two: Yes! Vee wear zeez costumes of Australian lifesavers as a compliment to you.

Popeye One: Vee have noticed that in Australia zee people zey do not make a noise. Vee think zis ees because you watch too much teevee at 'ome. Please to make some noise and clap! Zis gives to us energy.

They begin to do amazing acrobatical tricks demonstrating super-human muscular strength and an engaging Russian sense of humour, involving ape-like gestures and spraying water over everyone.

The crowd makes noise and claps.

The VeloDrone: Amazing! Bravo! Russians are better at acrobatics than any other people.

Le Bon David: Are you sure they are Russians?

The VeloDrone: What? Aren't they?

Le Bon David: Sometimes their accents slip.

The VeloDrone: No!

Le Bon David: I have an ear for such things.

The VeloDrone: Well, I'm not going to give them any money if they are acrobatting under false pretences.

Le Bon David: Shoosh! They are doing their grand finale!

The Popeyes do their grand finale. The crowd goes wild. The Popeyes drag out two enormous sacks in which they hope to collect a great deal of money.

Popeye One: Guess what folks! We are really Aussies! Ha Ha!

Le Bon David: I told you so, Vello. But that just makes it better. I'm going to give them some money. Can you lend me a tenner?

The VeloDrone: Niet!