It is early evening. The philosophers are cycling to the Garden of Unearthly Delights, on bicycles which they have hired from the Adelaide City Council. Belle et Bonne asks The VeloDrone about his idea.
Belle et Bonne: What is your idea, papa? Do tell us.
The VeloDrone: I suppose I should have told you before. We are going to perform in the Garden, scenes from Candide. I shall play Candide.
Le Bon David: What a grand idea. I shall play Dr Pangloss.
Belle et Bonne: And I shall play Cunegonde.
Marie: Then I shall play the old woman, with one buttock.
They arrive at the Garden of Unearthly Delights. Dismounting, they wheel their bicycles to a bare patch of grass. The VeloDrone, due to his pulpy hair and red sticky face, attracts some funny looks.
The VeloDrone: Roll up! Roll up! In two minutes time we shall give a performance of scenes from Candide! See the handsome young Candide kicked out by Baron Thunder-ten-Tronckh, because of his passion for the Baron's daughter, the lovely Cunegonde!! See him kidnapped by the Bulgars and given four thousand lashes. Hear what happened to Dr Pangloss and the lovely Cunegonde! Learn how the old woman lost her buttock!
A large crowd gathers. The play begins:
Candide ( getting on his bicycle) : Scene one. Oh ! I have been driven from the mansion of my natural father the Baron with kicks to the backside.
Dr Pangloss: There is no effect without cause! You were seen behind a screen with Cungonde!
Candide: Farewell! ( he cycles away, stopping behind the Frilly Knickers stall )
He returns.
Candide: Scene two. Oh! I have been given four thousand lashes by the Bulgars for desertion after being kidnapped! It hurts! But who is this old beggar?
Dr Pangloss: Do you not recognise your old tutor Dr Pangloss?
Candide: What happened to you? Your nose has rotted away, your mouth is all askew and your teeth are black.
Dr Pangloss: I caught a venereal disease from the maid Paquette. But I must tell you what has happened to Cunegonde!
Candide: Oh, tell me! What?
Dr Pangloss: She has been disembowelled and ravished by the Bulgars. She is dead!
Candide: No!
Dr Pangloss: Don't worry. She will nevertheless be in scene three!
Belle et Bonne is just getting ready for her scene, when two burly security guards appear, and, apprehending the four philosophers, lock them inside a wooden box.
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