A Holden Man

Pliny the Elder caught the bus into the city early in the morning. He was excited. What was the Clipsal? He didn't know.

He arrived at the gates and presented his ticket.

Good morning Mr Secundus, said the guard.

Mr Secundus? said Pliny. Oh yes, that's me. Good morning. Perhaps you could tell me where to go?

Certainly Mr Secundus. The Premier's Corporate Box is right opposite the Grandstand in front of Pit Straight. You can't miss it. I'm sorry sir, but may I just look in your bag?

Whatever for? asked Pliny. I've only got these sandwiches.

Ha ha, you won't need these sir, being in a corporate box. You'll have all you can eat and drink! But these sandwiches will have to go in the bin.

Outrageous! spluttered Pliny. What a waste! But do you mean to say that food and drink will be provided free of charge?

Certainly sir, to you it will. You're one of the lucky ones. Food and drink can't be brought in. It has to be bought inside. Sponsor's rules. Well, enjoy your day sir.

Pliny walked until he reached the Premier's Corporate Box, and went inside. There were several people there already, picking at the food, and drinking beer.

Hello, said Pliny, to a man in a blue jacket.

Hello, said the man in the blue jacket. I see you are a Holden man.

I am beholden to no man, said Pliny stiffly. Just because I accepted this free ticket....

No, no, said the man. You're wearing a red jacket. That means you're a Holden man. I'm wearing a blue jacket. That means I'm a Ford man.

Oh does it? said Pliny. Are they types of cars?

Ha ha, said the man. Courtney or Whincup?

What? said Pliny, picking up a prawn cracker and nibbling it.

Who d'you reckon will be this year's champion?

Oh, I see, said Pliny. Which one is the Holden man?

They both are, said the man. Are you kidding me?

Pliny decided to go with the flow.

Whincup, he said. He sounds lucky.